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Sex Positivity: Educate, Empower, Self-Define! Consent Consent is the expression of a mutual desire between parties to participate in a sexual activity. Sexual activity without consent is sexual violence. Period. Consent is fundamental in creating a sex-positive space. It is vitally important to respect other people’s consensual choices when it comes to their identity and body. Consent can be withdrawn at any time and it is given without coercion. Someone saying “yes” because they are too afraid to say “no” is not what consent looks like. Someone changing their mind about a sexual desire and then being forced to engage in it anyway is not what consent looks like. Consent isn’t always spoken, but it should never be assumed. The absence of a “no” is not a “yes!” Minors, people who are mentally incapacitated or unconscious, and people under the influence of drugs or alcohol are unable to give consent. Self-Defined Sexuality Sex positivity celebrates healthy sexual relationships, diversity within those relationships, bodily autonomy, and empowering individuals to control their own sex life (or lack thereof). You define what is right for you–there is no “right” way to engage in sex and express your sexuality as long as everything involves consent, empowerment, and respect. Breaking Down Gender Myths Gender roles are the behavioral expectations placed on people in relation to the gender binary. It’s important to remember that gender is a social construct, and if someone doesn’t fit into the societal expectations for what their gender (or lack of gender) looks and acts like, that is perfectly okay! Critically examining gender roles and participating in behaviors and expressions that make you happy is extremely sex-positive! It is important not to put other people in boxes when it comes to sexual expression, and everyone should be able to express their gender in a way that empowers them. Safe Sex Comprehensive Sex Education Empowering folks to take control of their sexuality starts by making sure they know how their bodies work and how to keep them safe. According to the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), comprehensive sex education is characterized by teaching age-appropriate, medically accurate information on topics such as sexuality, human development, decision-making, abstinence, contraception, and disease prevention. Comprehensive sex education provides students with factual information on abortion, masturbation, and sexual orientation, and they are encouraged to explore their own values, goals, and options. These curriculums also cover consent, healthy relationships, communication skills, and bodily autonomy. Sex-positive, comprehensive sex education does not intertwine sexual identities and choices with character and is supportive of students’ safe and informed exploration of gender and sexual expression. SIECUS defines the following curricula as not sex-positive: Abstinence-Based: Programs that emphasize the benefits of abstinence but also include information about sexual behavior other than intercourse and contraception and disease prevention. Abstinence-Only: Programs that emphasize abstinence from all sexual behaviors and don’t include information about contraception or disease prevention. Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage: Programs that emphasize abstinence from all sexual behaviors outside of marriage and often present marriage as the only morally correct context for sexual activity. If contraception or disease-prevention methods are discussed, failure rates are typically emphasized. Fear-Based: Abstinence-centered programs that are designed to control young people’s sexual behavior by instilling fear, shame, and guilt in them via negative messages about sexuality, distorted information about condoms and STIs, and biases about gender, sexual orientation, marriage, family structure, and pregnancy. Comprehensive sex education has been proven time and time again to lower rates of unprotected sex, unintended pregnancy, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). According to research conducted by the Journal of Adolescent Health, teens who receive comprehensive sex education are 50% less likely to experience pregnancy than those who receive other types of sex education. Despite tremendous evidence that comprehensive sex ed leads to a healthier youth population and abstinence-only programs are ineffective, the federal government has invested billions of dollars on abstinence-only programs over the past 20 years. Only 22 states require sex education in public schools, and only 19 of those require sex education to be medically accurate. President Obama has slashed the budget that supports abstinence-only sex education, but there is still a lot of work to be done at the state and local levels to ensure young people have access to comprehensive sex education. Condoms and Contraception Making condoms and contraception accessible is a critical aspect of empowering people to control their own sexuality. When used correctly, condoms–including condoms, dental dams, and insertive condoms–are very effective at preventing the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). However, to prevent pregnancy it is critical that condom use be paired with other forms of contraception such as the pill, implant, ring, and IUD. It is common, especially among younger populations, for condoms to be used inconsistently and incorrectly, which contributes to failure rate between 12% and 18% for preventing pregnancy. It is important for all people to have access and knowledge of these resources. To learn more about condoms and contraception, check out plannedparenthood.org and bedsider.org. To push for better birth control access on campus, check out our Birth Control Access Campaign! Fighting Rape Culture “Rape culture” refers to a complex set of beliefs that create an environment in which sexual violence is prevalent and in which sexual assault and coercion are normalized. These beliefs are perpetuated through misogynistic language, objectification, and the glamorization of sexual violence and create a society that disregards rights and safety, blames victims of sexual assault, and normalizes sexual violence. Sex positivity fights rape culture by emphasizing consent, valuing bodily autonomy, and empowering young people to make informed decisions. These elements work together to deconstruct slut-shaming and victim-blaming–harmful elements of rape culture that permeate many elements of our society. Sex positivity also combats rape culture by ending the social cycle of guilt people might experience about sexual activity, examining harmful elements of hyper-masculinity, fostering safe spaces for survivors, encouraging people to view others as full humans with bodily autonomy, and deconstructing harmful power dynamics in relationships. Fostering Self-Love An important element of sex positivity is the practice of loving yourself holistically–physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Body positivity is about developing a healthy, loving relationship with your body, in all of its uniqueness and perfect imperfections. The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (anad.org) found that 91% of women surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting and 58% felt pressure to be a certain weight. All people in our society are affected by the unrealistic and often unhealthy standards of western beauty, but young women are disproportionately affected. It is estimated that 95% of people suffering from an eating disorder are between the ages of 12 and 25, and 85% are young women. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and other specified feeding or eating disorders (OSFED) are caused by a combination of sociocultural, psychological, and biological factors; they do not discriminate by socioeconomic status. Marginalized groups are more vulnerable to eating disorders, but are less likely to be diagnosed and treated. No one should feel ashamed of their body, and our culture shouldn’t be pushing unrealistic beauty standards on women and girls. We should encourage women to define their value by finding what makes them feel strong, healthy, and empowered–not by what society says they should look like. Glossary Gender: The socially constructed idea of what “masculine” and “feminine” look, act, and feel like. Gender Binary: The social dichotomy that polarizes the masculine and feminine and allows for little in-between. Heteronormativity: The belief that people should fall in line with the assigned binary identities they’re assigned. LGBTQIA Spectrum: A range of sexual and gender identities including folks who identify as: Asexual: A person who does not feel sexual attraction toward any group of people. Bisexual: A person attracted to people who identify with varying genders. Lesbian: A woman who is primarily attracted to other women. Gay: A person who is attracted primarily to a person of the same gender. Genderqueer: A person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Intersex: A person whose anatomy or chromosomes at birth defy definitions of “female” and “male.” Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of their sex, gender, or gender identity. Queer: A reclaimed term sometimes used by members of the LGBT community to identify their sexuality or refer to that community. Transgender: A person who doesn’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth or the gender binary. (Cisgender people do.) Monogamy: A relationship practice in which people partner with only one person at a time. Polyamory: A relationship practice in which people may partner with multiple people in varying ways. Privilege: A position of social or cultural power someone is born with (i.e. white privilege, heterosexual privilege) or otherwise obtains (i.e. education or wealth). Self-care: The act of taking steps to honor your physical, emotional, situational, or spiritual well-being. Sex: The socially constructed biological categories of “male” and “female” and the stuff in-between. Slut-Shaming: When people are made to feel bad, guilty or inferior for their actual or alleged sexual behavior. Victim-Blaming: When victims of crimes are made to feel responsible for what they’ve experienced. This occurs frequently in conversations about sexual assault, in which survivors are often asked “what they were wearing” or “why they chose to walk home alone” as if their behavior could have ever warranted sexual violence. WEBSITE

Sti risk and oral sex STI Risk And Oral Sex Many sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) can be spread through oral sex. Using a condom, dental dam or other barrier method each and every time you have oral sex can reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI. LEARN MORE

sexual orientation What Is Sexual Orientation? Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Queer. Questioning. Asexual. Straight. There are many labels that describe who you’re attracted to romantically and sexually. Maybe you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about your sexual orientation. Or maybe you haven’t given it much thought. Either way, sexual orientation is just one part of who you are. LEARN MORE Love Is Love Sometimes sexual orientation changes over time. And sometimes it stays the same throughout your life. But sexual orientation isn’t a choice, and can’t be changed by therapy, treatment, or pressure from family or friends. You also can’t “turn” a person gay. For example, a girl who plays with toys traditionally made for boys isn’t going to become a lesbian because of that. LEARN MORE Who Can I Talk To About My Sexual Orientation? Figuring out your sexual orientation can feel confusing and lonely. But it doesn’t have to be. LEARN MORE

Coming Out What is “coming out”? “Coming out” is understanding your own sexual orientation or gender identity and then deciding to share it with some or all of the people in your life. Coming out is different for everyone and there are lots of ways to do it. Some LGBTQ people choose to come out only to themselves, and not to anyone else. Only you can know what’s best for your life right now. Learn more about coming out. Should I come out? Coming out is a decision that LGBTQ people have to face all the time, with every new person they meet. So it’s something you’ll probably do over and over again throughout your life. The way you approach and experience coming out might change, depending on where you are and who you’re with. Coming out is a very personal decision. You — and only you — get to decide if, when, and how you do it. Coming out can be a really important step, and people should only come out if and when they’re ready and feel safe doing so. It’s never ok to pressure someone into coming out or to out a LGBTQ person without their permission. You might want to start by talking with other people who are LGBTQ. Sometimes it’s also helpful to talk to adults you trust, like a counselor, social worker, teacher, or supportive family member, to help you decide when you want to come out, and who to come out to. For all people — and young people especially — gender and sexuality can change and evolve over time. It might take you a while to fully understand your own sexual orientation and gender identity, and these things can shift as you get older. Sharing a big part of who you are as a person during the time that you’re trying to figure it all out can be complicated. For a lot of people, coming out can be a great experience — especially if they have support from their friends, families, and communities. While it can make your relationships better and make you feel great, it can also feel scary depending on who you’re coming out to and what you think their reaction will be. And unfortunately in some places there’s a lot of homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia — fear and hatred of people who are LGBTQ. If you think coming out might cause you harm — physical, emotional, or financial — you may decide to wait to come out until you have a plan to take care of yourself.

BIrth control Birth Control Resources Birth Control CDC Website Many elements need to be considered by women, men, or couples at any given point in their lifetimes when choosing the most appropriate contraceptive method. These elements include safety, effectiveness, availability (including accessibility and affordability), and acceptability. Voluntary informed choice of contraceptive methods is an essential guiding principle, and contraceptive counseling, when applicable, might be an important contributor to the successful use of contraceptive methods. Transportation Website Getting To A Clinic Birth Control PP Website Birth control is how you prevent pregnancy. There are lots of different birth control options out there. We’re here to help you figure it all out. Birth Control Bedsider Website The explorer is a place to learn about all your birth control options. We cover every available method, from the IUD (and others on our most effective list) to condoms, the pill, the patch, and more. Click on any method for more details. Want a more apples-to-apples way to compare? Cost Of Condoms and Birth Control Website They are A LOT Cheaper than having a baby... Power To Decide Website Having the power to decide if, when, and under what circumstances to get pregnant and have a child increases young people’s opportunities to be healthy, to complete their education, and to pursue the future they want. The Pill Club Website $0 with most insurance (low prices without) and best of all, you can skip the drug store line. Get treated right with The Pill Club. One At Home Website This program allows Oregon residents to receive a free envelope of sexual wellness supplies delivered discreetly to their door, up to twice per 30 days. Pregnancy CHW Clinic Services More Info Pregnancy Testing CHW Oregon Mother's Care More Info Access to OHP CHW WIC Program More Info Nutrition program for mothers and children CHW Maternity Case Management More Info Home visiting program CHW The Lactation Club More Info Breastfeeding support and education DHS TANF More Info Temporary Assistance For Needy Families Bay Clinic More Info Prenatal Care Providers and OB-GYNs North Bend Medical Center More Info Prenatal Care Providers and OB-GYNs Bay Area Hospital MOMS Program More Info Birth, parenting and breastfeeding classes Pacific Pregnancy Clinic More Info Pregnancy continuation Safe Haven Maternity Home More Info Provides a safe home for pregnant women and mothers and their babies who are in crisis. Pregnancy Resources LGBTQ LGBTQ Resources Be An Ally And A Friend More info 10 Ways To Be An Ally And A Friend Coming Out More info Coming out as LGBTQ can be exciting, overwhelming, and sometimes scary. It’s different for everyone, and you’re the only one who can decide when the time is right. Love Is Love More info Sometimes sexual orientation changes over time. And sometimes it stays the same throughout your life. But sexual orientation isn’t a choice, and can’t be changed by therapy, treatment, or pressure from family or friends. You also can’t “turn” a person gay. For example, a girl who plays with toys traditionally made for boys isn’t going to become a lesbian because of that. PFLAG More info PFLAG has been saving lives, strengthening families, changing hearts, minds and laws since 1972. Our family and ally voice is integral to advancing equality. Safer Sex For Trans Bodies More info Resources for Transgender People Sex, Gender And Gender Identity More info There’s a lot more to being male, female, or any gender than the sex assigned at birth. Your biological or assigned sex does not always tell your complete story. Trans And Gender Nonconforming Identities More info Some people feel that the sex they were assigned at birth doesn’t match their gender identity, or the gender that they feel they are inside. These people are often called transgender. Trans Women's Safer Sex Guide More info Trans Women's Safer Sex Guide UNI-T Flier More info UNI-T Flier Vocabulary More info To help you make sense of the alphabet soup, and be as respectful and accurate as possible when using identifying language. What Is Sexual Orientation? More info Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Queer. Questioning. Asexual. Straight. There are many labels that describe who you’re attracted to romantically and sexually. Maybe you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about your sexual orientation. Or maybe you haven’t given it much thought. Either way, sexual orientation is just one part of who you are. Who Can I Talk To About My Sexual Orientation? More info Figuring out your sexual orientation can feel confusing and lonely. But it doesn’t have to be. common stiS Common STIs Resources Bacterial Vaginosis More Info Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is a condition that happens when there is too much of certain bacteria in the vagina. This changes the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina. Chlamydia More Info Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can be easily cured. If left untreated, chlamydia can make it difficult for a woman to get pregnant. Genital Herpes More Info Genital herpes is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that any sexually active person can get. Most people with the virus don’t have symptoms. Even without signs of the disease, herpes can still be spread to sex partners. Gonorrhea More Info Anyone who is sexually active can get gonorrhea. Gonorrhea can cause very serious complications when not treated, but can be cured with the right medication. HIV/AIDS More Info HIV is a virus spread through body fluids that attacks the body’s immune system, specifically the CD4 cells, often called T cells. Hepatitis A More Info Hepatitis A is a contagious liver infection caused by the hepatitis A virus. Hepatitis A can be prevented with a vaccine. People who get hepatitis A may feel sick for a few weeks to several months but usually recover completely and do not have lasting liver damage. In rare cases, hepatitis A can cause liver failure and even death; this is more common in older people and in people with other serious health issues, such as chronic liver disease. Hepatitis B More Info Hepatitis B can be a serious liver disease that results from infection with the Hepatitis B virus. Hepatitis C More Info HCV infection is the most common chronic bloodborne infection in the United States, with an estimated 2.7 million persons living with chronic infection. Human Papillomavirus (HPV) More Info Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States. Some health effects caused by HPV can be prevented by the HPV vaccines. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) More Info Untreated sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), a serious condition, in women. 1 in 8 women with a history of PID experience difficulties getting pregnant. You can prevent PID if you know how to protect yourself. Pubic Lice "Crabs" More Info Also called crab lice or “crabs,” pubic lice are parasitic insects found primarily in the pubic or genital area of humans. Pubic lice infestation is found worldwide and occurs in all races, ethnic groups, and levels of society. STI Treatment More Info If your sexual history and current signs and symptoms suggest that you have a sexually transmitted infection (STI), laboratory tests can identify the cause and detect coinfections you might also have. Scabies More Info Scabies is an infestation of the skin by the human itch mite (Sarcoptes scabiei var. hominis). The microscopic scabies mite burrows into the upper layer of the skin where it lives and lays its eggs. Syphilis More Info Syphilis is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can have very serious complications when left untreated, but it is simple to cure with the right treatment. Trichomoniasis More Info Most people who have trichomoniasis do not have any symptoms. Adoption Adoption National Pro Choice Adoption Collaborative More Info NPAC is Open Adoption & Family Services (OA&FS) and Friends in Adoption (FIA). We are very unique in that we are pro-choice, not religiously affiliated and do not discriminate. All Options Hotline More Info Boys And Girls Society Of Oregon More Info The most powerful support in the world is family. We're committed to ensuring every child grows up with a family of their own. Open Adopt More Info Only you can decide which choice is right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ll stand by you, offering our compassion, guidance and support. By exploring each pregnancy option thoroughly, you will gain clarity about what choice feels best to you. SUSAN C MOFFET, PC More Info Adoption & Family Formation Law ending a pregnancy Ending A Pregnancy Planned Parenthood More Info There are two ways of ending a pregnancy: in-clinic abortion and the abortion pill. Both are safe and very common. If you’re pregnant and thinking about abortion, you may have lots of questions. We’re here to help. Lilith Clinic More Info When no one else would, or could, give women choice, we did. And now, more than 40 years later, we continue to help women – and men – make the best possible choices for their futures. Northwest Abortion Access Fund More Info The Northwest Abortion Access Fund is an abortion fund serving Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and Alaska. We help people pay for their abortion care by sending funding directly to the clinic. We also help people get to and from the clinic. And we make sure people traveling for care have a safe place to stay. Events Calendar

Scabies Scabies is an infestation of the skin by the human itch mite (Sarcoptes scabiei var. hominis). The microscopic scabies mite burrows into the upper layer of the skin where it lives and lays its eggs. The most common symptoms of scabies are intense itching and a pimple-like skin rash. The scabies mite usually is spread by direct, prolonged, skin-to-skin contact with a person who has scabies. Scabies is found worldwide and affects people of all races and social classes. Scabies can spread rapidly under crowded conditions where close body and skin contact is frequent. Institutions such as nursing homes, extended-care facilities, and prisons are often sites of scabies outbreaks. Child-care facilities also are a common site of scabies infestations. Crusted scabies is a severe form of scabies that can occur in some persons who are immunocompromised (have a weak immune system), elderly, disabled, or debilitated. It is also called Norwegian scabies. Persons with crusted scabies have thick crusts of skin that contain large numbers of scabies mites and eggs. Persons with crusted scabies are very contagious to other persons and can spread the infestation easily both by direct skin-to-skin contact and by contamination of items such as their clothing, bedding, and furniture. Persons with crusted scabies may not show the usual signs and symptoms of scabies such as the characteristic rash or itching (pruritus). Persons with crusted scabies should receive quick and aggressive medical treatment for their infestation to prevent outbreaks of scabies. If a person has never had scabies before, symptoms may take as long as 4-6 weeks to begin. It is important to remember that an infested person can spread scabies during this time, even if he/she does not have symptoms yet. In a person who has had scabies before, symptoms usually appear much sooner (1-4 days) after exposure. The most common signs and symptoms of scabies are intense itching (pruritus), especially at night, and a pimple-like (papular) itchy rash. The itching and rash each may affect much of the body or be limited to common sites such as the wrist, elbow, armpit, webbing between the fingers, nipple, penis, waist, belt-line, and buttocks. The rash also can include tiny blisters (vesicles) and scales. Scratching the rash can cause skin sores; sometimes these sores become infected by bacteria. Tiny burrows sometimes are seen on the skin; these are caused by the female scabies mite tunneling just beneath the surface of the skin. These burrows appear as tiny raised and crooked (serpiginous) grayish-white or skin-colored lines on the skin surface. Because mites are often few in number (only 10-15 mites per person), these burrows may be difficult to find. They are found most often in the webbing between the fingers, in the skin folds on the wrist, elbow, or knee, and on the penis, breast, or shoulder blades. The head, face, neck, palms, and soles often are involved in infants and very young children, but usually not adults and older children. Persons with crusted scabies may not show the usual signs and symptoms of scabies such as the characteristic rash or itching (pruritus). Scabies usually is spread by direct, prolonged, skin-to-skin contact with a person who has scabies. Contact generally must be prolonged; a quick handshake or hug usually will not spread scabies. Scabies is spread easily to sexual partners and household members. Scabies in adults frequently is sexually acquired. Scabies sometimes is spread indirectly by sharing articles such as clothing, towels, or bedding used by an infested person; however, such indirect spread can occur much more easily when the infested person has crusted scabies. Diagnosis of a scabies infestation usually is made based on the customary appearance and distribution of the rash and the presence of burrows. Whenever possible, the diagnosis of scabies should be confirmed by identifying the mite, mite eggs, or mite fecal matter (scybala). This can be done by carefully removing a mite from the end of its burrow using the tip of a needle or by obtaining skin scraping to examine under a microscope for mites, eggs, or mite fecal matter. It is important to remember that a person can still be infested even if mites, eggs, or fecal matter cannot be found; typically fewer than 10-15 mites can be present on the entire body of an infested person who is otherwise healthy. However, persons with crusted scabies can be infested with thousands of mites and should be considered highly contagious. On a person, scabies mites can live for as long as 1-2 months. Off a person, scabies mites usually do not survive more than 48-72 hours. Scabies mites will die if exposed to a temperature of 50°C (122°F) for 10 minutes. Yes. Products used to treat scabies are called scabicides because they kill scabies mites; some also kill eggs. Scabicides to treat human scabies are available only with a doctor’s prescription; no “over-the-counter” (non-prescription) products have been tested and approved for humans. Always follow carefully the instructions provided by the doctor and pharmacist, as well as those contained in the box or printed on the label. When treating adults and older children, scabicide cream or lotion is applied to all areas of the body from the neck down to the feet and toes; when treating infants and young children, the cream or lotion also is applied to the head and neck. The medication should be left on the body for the recommended time before it is washed off. Clean clothes should be worn after treatment. In addition to the infested person, treatment also is recommended for household members and sexual contacts, particularly those who have had prolonged skin-to-skin contact with the infested person. All persons should be treated at the same time in order to prevent reinfestation. Retreatment may be necessary if itching continues more than 2-4 weeks after treatment or if new burrows or rash continue to appear. Never use a scabicide intended for veterinary or agricultural use to treat humans! Anyone who is diagnosed with scabies, as well as his or her sexual partners and other contacts who have had prolonged skin-to-skin contact with the infested person, should be treated. Treatment is recommended for members of the same household as the person with scabies, particularly those persons who have had prolonged skin-to-skin contact with the infested person. All persons should be treated at the same time to prevent reinfestation. Retreatment may be necessary if itching continues more than 2-4 weeks after treatment or if new burrows or rash continue to appear. If itching continues more than 2-4 weeks after initial treatment or if new burrows or rash continue to appear (if initial treatment includes more than one application or dose, then the 2-4 time period begins after the last application or dose), retreatment with scabicide may be necessary; seek the advice of a physician. No. Animals do not spread human scabies. Pets can become infested with a different kind of scabies mite that does not survive or reproduce on humans but causes “mange” in animals. If an animal with “mange” has close contact with a person, the animal mite can get under the person’s skin and cause temporary itching and skin irritation. However, the animal mite cannot reproduce on a person and will die on its own in a couple of days. Although the person does not need to be treated, the animal should be treated because its mites can continue to burrow into the person’s skin and cause symptoms until the animal has been treated successfully. Scabies is spread by prolonged skin-to-skin contact with a person who has scabies. Scabies sometimes also can be spread by contact with items such as clothing, bedding, or towels that have been used by a person with scabies, but such spread is very uncommon unless the infested person has crusted scabies. Scabies is very unlikely to be spread by water in a swimming pool. Except for a person with crusted scabies, only about 10-15 scabies mites are present on an infested person; it is extremely unlikely that any would emerge from under wet skin. Although uncommon, scabies can be spread by sharing a towel or item of clothing that has been used by a person with scabies. Scabies mites do not survive more than 2-3 days away from human skin. Items such as bedding, clothing, and towels used by a person with scabies can be decontaminated by machine-washing in hot water and drying using the hot cycle or by dry-cleaning. Items that cannot be washed or dry-cleaned can be decontaminated by removing from any body contact for at least 72 hours. Because persons with crusted scabies are considered very infectious, careful vacuuming of furniture and carpets in rooms used by these persons is recommended. Fumigation of living areas is unnecessary. Scabies mites do not survive more than 2-3 days away from human skin. Items such as bedding, clothing, and towels used by a person with scabies can be decontaminated by machine-washing in hot water and drying using the hot cycle or by dry-cleaning. Items that cannot be washed or dry-cleaned can be decontaminated by removing from any body contact for at least 72 hours. The rash and itching of scabies can persist for several weeks to a month after treatment, even if the treatment was successful and all the mites and eggs have been killed. Your health care provider may prescribe additional medication to relieve itching if it is severe. Symptoms that persist for longer than 2 weeks after treatment can be due to a number of reasons, including: Incorrect diagnosis of scabies. Many drug reactions can mimic the symptoms of scabies and cause a skin rash and itching; the diagnosis of scabies should be confirmed by a skin scraping that includes observing the mite, eggs, or mite feces (scybala) under a microscope. If you are sleeping in the same bed with your spouse and have not become reinfested, and you have not retreated yourself for at least 30 days, then it is unlikely that your spouse has scabies. Reinfestation with scabies from a family member or other infested person if all patients and their contacts are not treated at the same time; infested persons and their contacts must be treated at the same time to prevent reinfestation. Treatment failure caused by resistance to medication, by faulty application of topical scabicides, or by failure to do a second application when necessary; no new burrows should appear 24-48 hours after effective treatment. Treatment failure of crusted scabies because of poor penetration of scabicide into thick scaly skin containing large numbers of scabies mites; repeated treatment with a combination of both topical and oral medication may be necessary to treat crusted scabies successfully. Reinfestation from items (fomites) such as clothing, bedding, or towels that were not appropriately washed or dry-cleaned (this is mainly of concern for items used by persons with crusted scabies); potentially contaminated items (fomites) should be machine washed in hot water and dried using the hot temperature cycle, dry-cleaned, or removed from skin contact for at least 72 hours. An allergic skin rash (dermatitis); or Exposure to household mites that cause symptoms to persist because of cross-reactivity between mite antigens. If itching continues more than 2-4 weeks or if new burrows or rash continue to appear, seek the advice of a physician; retreatment with the same or a different scabicide may be necessary. No. If a person thinks he or she might have scabies, he/she should contact a doctor. The doctor can examine the person, confirm the diagnosis of scabies, and prescribe an appropriate treatment. Products used to treat scabies in humans are available only with a doctor’s prescription. Sleeping with or having sex with any scabies infested person presents a high risk for transmission. The longer a person has skin-to-skin exposure, the greater is the likelihood for transmission to occur. Although briefly shaking hands with a person who has non-crusted scabies could be considered as presenting a relatively low risk, holding the hand of a person with scabies for 5-10 minutes could be considered to present a relatively high risk of transmission. However, transmission can occur even after brief skin-to-skin contact, such as a handshake, with a person who has crusted scabies. In general, a person who has skin-to-skin contact with a person who has crusted scabies would be considered a good candidate for treatment. To determine when prophylactic treatment should be given to reduce the risk of transmission, early consultation should be sought with a health care provider who understands: the type of scabies (i.e. non-crusted vs crusted) to which a person has been exposed; the degree and duration of skin exposure that a person has had to the infested patient; whether the exposure occurred before or after the patient was treated for scabies; and, whether the exposed person works in an environment where he/she would be likely to expose other people during the asymptomatic incubation period. For example, a nurse or caretaker who works in a nursing home or hospital often would be treated prophylactically to reduce the risk of further scabies transmission in the facility. < Previous Next >

Making Sex Safer If you have anal, oral, or vaginal sex, the best way to prevent STIs is using barriers like condoms and dams. Lube can also help make sex safer (and better!). Do condoms prevent STIs and make sex safer? They sure can help! Condoms are one of the best ways to help prevent STIs. (And bonus! They help prevent pregnancy, too.) There are two kinds of condoms: regular condoms fit snugly on the penis. Internal condoms (also called female condoms) are worn inside the vagina or anus. Never use a regular condom with a internal condom at the same time — just use one or the other. Condoms and internal condoms put a barrier between the penis and the other person’s anus, vagina, or mouth. This barrier protects both partners by keeping fluids that can carry infections (like semen and vaginal fluids) out of the other person’s genitals. By covering the penis or inside of the vagina or anus, condoms and internal condoms also prevent skin-to-skin touching that can spread certain STIs (like herpes and genital warts). But condoms may not work as well to prevent skin-to-skin STIs, because they don’t cover every body part that can be infected (like the scrotum or labia). Put on a condom before your penis even touches your partner’s mouth or genitals, or they won’t work as well to prevent STIs. Most condoms are made from latex, a kind of rubber. There are also condoms made out of thin, soft plastics like polyurethane, polyisoprene, and nitrile. Internal condoms are made from nitrile, too. Plastic condoms are great for people who have latex allergies or sensitivities. Condoms made of lambskin or other animal membranes DO NOT protect against HIV or other STIs — they only help to prevent pregnancy. Only latex or plastic condoms and internal condoms help stop STIs. It’s also a good idea to use condoms on sex toys if you share them with other people (use a new condom any time a new person uses it), to avoid swapping body fluids that can carry STIs. Condoms without spermicide are better at preventing STIs than spermicidal condoms. If you use spermicide many times a day, it may make you more likely to get an STI. That’s because nonoxynyl-9 (a chemical in most spermicides) can irritate your skin, which can make it easier for infections to get in your body. Do dental dams make oral sex safer? Yes indeed! Dental dams — aka “dams” for short — are thin, square pieces of latex that help prevent STIs during oral sex on a vulva or anus. Dams protect you by keeping vaginal fluids out of your mouth, and preventing skin-to-skin contact between your mouth and a vulva or anus. They also protect you during oral-to-anal sex from germs that can cause digestive infections. Dams are easy to use. You lay them over a vulva and/or anus, and then do your thing. You don’t need to stretch the dam taut or press it tight against the skin — just hold it gently in place. Dams may even cling to your body on their own because of vaginal moisture or static. Dams can sometimes be hard to find in stores. If you don’t have a dam handy, you can cut open a condom and lay it flat on your partner’s vulva or anus. (By the way, they’re called dental dams because dentists also sometimes use them to protect their patient’s mouth during dental work.) Can I use lubricant to make sex safer? This is a great idea! Many people don’t realize that lube can make sex safer AND increase comfort and pleasure at the same time. The friction that happens when you rub your genitals together during sex can irritate your skin, or even cause small tears in your sensitive genital skin that make it easier for STIs to get into your body. Friction also makes condoms break more easily. Lube keeps sex nice and slippery, cutting down on the friction and leading to safer and more comfortable sex. Using lube doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or your partner. Things like medicine, hormonal changes, stress, and age can change the way your vagina lubricates (gets wet) during sex. Lots of people use an extra lubricant just because they like the way it feels. It’s especially important to use lube if you have anal sex. Unlike a vagina, your anus can’t lubricate itself at all. Without lube, anal sex can be super painful and even dangerous. Dry anal sex leads to irritation and tears in your anus and rectum, putting you at a higher risk for STIs like HIV. Most condoms come pre-lubricated, but adding more lube helps condoms feel extra good and keeps them from breaking. Put a few drops on the head of your penis or inside the tip of your condom before you roll it on, and/or spread lube on the outside of the condom once you’re wearing it. Always make sure your lube is safe to use with condoms. This means only using water-based or silicone lube with latex condoms — lube with oil in it can break down latex and cause condoms to tear. It’s also a bad idea to use lotions, baby oil, or Vaseline as sexual lubricants, because they can irritate your genitals and break condoms. Sexual lubricants that you get in the condom aisle at the drugstore are usually safe to use with condoms. You can always read the package or directions, just to be sure. Spermicide can make your chances of getting an STI a little higher, especially if you’re using it many times a day, so it’s better to use lube that doesn’t have spermicide in it. Spermicide usually has an ingredient called nonoxynyl-9 that can irritate the skin in your anus or vagina, which can make it easier for you to get an infection like an STI.

law & consent Age of Consent And why those laws exist.... The most common rationale for consent legislation in the West today is the desire to protect children and teens—who are now understood to undergo important psychological development well after they’re biologically capable of sex—from confusing and possibly abusive relationships with more powerful adults. Of course, the line that separates child from adult has never been clear, and so fudging the divide is sometimes required to avoid absurdity. Situations where a 17-year-old boyfriend has been charged with “raping” his 15-year-old girlfriend have led many state legislatures in the U.S. to establish “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which allow for exceptions or lesser punishments in cases where the couple is close in age. Read More Oregon Law In Oregon, the age of consent for sexual activity is 18 years old. In principle, this means that anyone under 18 cannot legally have sex and anyone older than 18 cannot have sex with anyone younger than 18. If they do, they commit statutory rape. However, Oregon also has authorized a “Romeo and Juliet” defense to the charge of statutory rape. This provision in ORS 163.345 effectively allows sexual consent if the partners are within 3 years of age. Thus, an 18-year old can have sex with a 15-year old and in principle a 16-year old could have sex with a 13-year old provided that both partners are within 3 years of age and it is consensual. In fact, given the text of the statutes, a 14 or 15-year old could have sex with a 12-year old if it was consensual. However, for cases of sexual misconduct , the alleged victim must be at least 15 years old for defendants to claim ORS 163.345 as a defense. (Sexual misconduct is a C misdemeanor). It is a common misconception that consensual sex of two people under 18 is legal. It is not actually legal; the law providing criminal charges for Rape II and Rape III are broad and clear – it is illegal. In theory, if two teenagers within 3 years had consensual sex after prom, they could both be charged by the DA. However, this would almost certainly never happen because both teenagers could point to ORS 163.345 and that would clear them in any trial. But Romeo and Juliet notwithstanding, Oregon consent laws are among the strictest in the world. In most European countries and many US states, it is fully legal for a 16-year old to consent to sex with a partner of any age. In Oregon, only an 18-year old can consent to sex with a partner of any age.

Father's Rights and Responsibilities There is a lot of advice out there for girls who find themselves facing an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy but there is very little information out there for guys. It takes two to make a baby but all too often when the pregnancy is announced the guy gets lost in the confusion. Teen fatherhood is not something to be taken lightly and along with responsibilities to the mother and the child; you have rights that you need to know about. What are your rights as a prospective father? First and foremost you have the right to know for sure that you are the father. This is not only a right you have but it is a right that the unborn child is entitled to as well. While everyone is mixed up in the emotionally charged circumstances surrounding an unwanted pregnancy it is often overlooked or downplayed that both father and child have a right to know the truth about paternity. Understandably a pregnant girl may be upset when the subject of DNA testing comes up but it is not something you should ever feel guilty about requesting. You are not calling her sexual conduct in to question by wanting to know for sure that you are the father. You are not suggesting that she is bad or a liar. You are simply exercising your right to know for sure that you are the father and this is important because fatherhood is a lifelong commitment. If you are the father you have the right to know your child and to participate in your child’s life. You have rights of custody and access. You also have responsibilities. You have the responsibility to financially and emotionally care for your child. You have a responsibility to be present in your child’s life and ensure that your child’s needs are met. You have the responsibility to ensure that your child is safe and well cared for and is free from harm. You have the responsibility to make decisions that are in the best interest of your child. More on rights and responsibilities later, first let’s look at the most important thing every prospective father needs to know about… how to know if they are really the father. How can you know if you are the father? There are two ways to determine if you are the father, blood type matching and DNA testing. Blood type matching is the cheapest and simplest test but it does not determine paternity it only tells you if it is possible that you are the father. If the blood types don’t match up there is no possible way you are the father and no other tests are needed. If the blood types do match up it only means that you could be the father and a DNA test will be needed to know for sure. In order to match blood types you need to know the answers to three questions; what is the father’s blood type, what is the mother’s blood type and what is the baby’s blood type? A baby’s blood type is determined by the blood types of its parents and it is an exact science as to what possible blood type a baby can have based on the types of the parents. It may sound confusing but it is really very simple. The blood type of the baby is determined by a combination of its’ parents' blood types. If the baby has a blood type that could not be the result of the combined blood types of both parents then the paternity is usually called in to question (since in natural conception maternity is never at issue). So what is the difference between a positive and a negative blood type match? Rh factor aside (which determines if the blood type is positive + or negative – and is not affected by paternity) a baby will have the same blood type as either its mother or its father or it will have a combined blood type based on the types of both parents. A negative blood type matching happens if a baby does not have the father’s or mother’s blood type or if the blood type that a baby does have is not a possible combination of the father’s and the mother’s. A positive blood type matching happens when a baby has the same blood type as the mother, the same blood type as the father or a blood type that is a combination of the parent’s blood types. The following chart shows which blood types are possible based on the combined types of the parents. Determining Paternity by Blood Type Remember in cases of natural conception if the blood types do not match it is because the wrong father has been identified. If the blood types do match up the next step that should be taken is a DNA test as blood type matches only suggest the possibility, not the certainty, that the right father has been identified. DNA testing is much more complicated and expensive but in the end, it is worth the investment and many private labs have payment programs available to make access to this test easier. Don’t feel bad about wanting a DNA test, as discussed earlier both father and a child have a right to know the truth. The most accurate DNA testing is done using samples from all three parties; mother, identified father and child, but testing can be done with only samples from the identified father and child. While it is possible to test DNA before a child is born this is much more costly and can pose a risk to the unborn child. For this reason, most DNA testing is done after the child is born. Should you get married? The question of marriage under these circumstances is a very personal one but it should not be entered into lightly. The pressure to marry when an unwanted pregnancy occurs can be overwhelming but there are important legal ramifications that potential fathers must be aware of. In North America, our system of law is based on British Common Law and under this legal structure a child born in wedlock (that is to parents who are legally married at the time of birth) is automatically presumed to belong to the husband. A legal father has the same rights and responsibilities as a biological father. If you marry a girl who claims you fathered her child and later find out that you are not the father it can be difficult and costly, not to mention emotionally devastating, to have your parental rights and responsibilities changed. It may be worth your while to consult with a lawyer near where you live before marrying under these circumstances in order to fully and properly understand the law on this matter where you live. What about adoption? Can I give up my baby for adoption even if the mother does not want to? No, you can’t force the other parent to give the child up for adoption. You may be able to give up your own parental rights however, depending on the laws where you live. A lawyer in your area can better advise you on the subject of giving up parental rights and obligations and if this is something you want you must seek legal advice. OK, I’m the father and I’m going to be involved, now what? If you and the mother can agree on a custody arrangement and on child support it can be as simple as signing an agreement and filing it with the family court in your area. This may or may not require a lawyer. When there is nothing being disputed by either parent then the matter of filing is relatively simple and any associated legal fees are usually minimal. If the two of you can’t agree then you will need a lawyer. As a father you have the right to know your child and to be a participant in his or her life. You also have the responsibility to support and care for your child and if you are the non-custodial parent you have the responsibility to pay child support. As touched on earlier you have the responsibility to ensure that your child is free from harm and is well cared for. If you believe that the mother is unable to care for your child or that your child is being harmed in her care then you have a responsibility to do something about it. On the other hand, if a mother believes that you may be bad for the child or put the child in harms way then she has a responsibility to do something about it. This usually involves going to court to stop or limit access. A lawyer will be needed and depending on where you live you may be able to get legal aid or assistance. Check with your local law society, Attorney General, or other public law office. Parenthood is not an easy thing and it should never be entered into lightly. No matter what the circumstances surrounding conception when you become a parent you are a parent for the rest of your life. Fathers are no less important than mothers and their obligations to their child are no less than those of a mother. Just because biology has made it that mothers carry the child in their body this does not mean that the mother is the most important parent. Both parents have important roles to play in the life of their child. While having a child while you’re still a kid yourself is less than ideal this does not make you any less a parent. Once you know a child is yours it changes your life forever no matter how old, or young, you are.

GONORRHEA TESTIMONIALS Two-thirds of countries have reported gonorrhea cases that resist all known antibiotics. Now scientists are trying to hold the line against the disease as they look for a new way to treat it. Mark King has had the clap so many times he’s renamed it ‘the applause’. The first time King had gonorrhea, he was a teenager in the late 1970s, growing up with his five siblings in Louisiana. He had the telltale signs: burning and discomfort when he urinated and a thick discharge that left a stain in his underwear. King visited a clinic and gave a fake name and phone number. He was treated quickly with antibiotics and sent on his way. A few years later, the same symptoms reappeared. By this time, the 22-year-old was living in West Hollywood, hoping to launch his acting career. While King had come out to his parents, being gay in Louisiana was poles apart from being gay in Los Angeles. For one, homosexuality was illegal in Louisiana until 2003, whereas California had legalized it in 1976. In Los Angeles there was a thriving a gay scene where King, for the first time, could embrace his sexuality freely. He frequented bathhouses and also met men in dance clubs and along the bustling sidewalks. There was lots of sex to be had. “The fact that we weren’t a fully formed culture beyond those spaces… was what brought us together as people. Sex was the only expression we had to claim ourselves as LGBT people,” King says. When he stepped into the brick clinic just a few strides away from the heart of the city’s gay nightlife in Santa Monica, King, with his thick sandy blond hair with a tinge of red through it, looked around the room. It was filled with other gay men. “What do you do when you’re 22 and gay? You cruise other men. I remember sitting in the lobby cruising other men,” King recalls, laughing. “My Summer of Love was 1982. It was a playground. I was young and on the prowl.” Like a few years earlier, the doctor gave him a handful of antibiotics to take for a few days that would clear up the infection. It wasn’t a big deal. In fact, as King describes it, it was “simply an errand to run”. “It was the price of doing business and it wasn’t a high price at all.” But it was the calm before the storm, in more ways than one. When King picked up gonorrhea again in the 1990s, he was greatly relieved that treatment was now just one dose. Penicillin was no longer effective, but ciprofloxacin was now the recommended treatment and it required only one dose. In King’s eyes, getting gonorrhea was even less of a hassle. But this was actually a symptom of treatment regimens starting to fail. The bacteria Neisseria gonorrhoeae was on the way to developing resistance to nearly every drug ever used to treat it. 40-49 previous nEXT

Teen Testimonial The real story of one young woman's journey through high school pregnancy and beyond... I guess you could say I was popular in high school—it was fun because I fit in. I was a cheerleader and I did color guard. I was very outgoing, not shy at all. I mean, I lived in a small town in Mississippi, so there wasn't much to do other than shop at the mall, but I also went to concerts all the time. I'm a big Dirks Bentley fan and when I went to one concert with my friends I got to meet him because I was in his fan club. I ended up crying, actually, so he came up to me and hugged me because I was that weird emotional girl. I've never been the type to party, and I never drank or did drugs or any of that. I was pretty much always at school every day until about 6PM for cheer practice, and then every Saturday until noon for color guard. School was so important to me. However, I did have a boyfriend. It was the classic high school romance: I was the cheerleader, and he played football, baseball, and basketball. He was the total cool kid. In the yearbook, he won "Most Popular" and "Most Handsome." And yeah, he was handsome! He was only 5'5", but he was muscular, and worked out all the time, and had curly, strawberry-blonde hair. I remember we met at a McDonald's. He just walked right up to my car, looking all cocky, and asked right away if I wanted his number. (And I did.) We spent a lot of time together—he used to either come watch me during cheerleading or call me right after practice. I watched him, too. He was #3 in football, and that number was everywhere, even on his white pickup truck. We rode around on his motorcycle and his four-wheeler a lot, or just went to the movies. We lived in Mississippi, you know? That's the kind of stuff you do. Neither of us worked, but we had each other. We were in our senior year, and our relationship was great. One Friday night over Christmas break, he got me some chicken for dinner, and it made me throw up. I told him that I was late, so we thought we should take a test. Finally, four positive results later, I realized that I was pregnant, and I just cried. And he cried. That night, I looked him in the eyes and made him promise me that, no matter what, he'd stay with me and we'd get through it together. He was all for it. I decided to tell my mom three or four days later. I was on my way to the color guard Christmas party, and I just sent her a text that said, "I'm late." She responded, "Is there any way you could be pregnant?" And then, I said, "I don't know." Finally, she told me she wasn't going to discuss anything more via text message, but I was too scared to face her alone, so I waited for my boyfriend to meet up with me. Then, she made me take another test, cried a little, and asked to be alone. After that, though, she was so supportive, and I'm lucky for that. My dad, though, was a different story. My mom asked me not to tell him until after Christmas so I wouldn't ruin the holiday. It was just so hard. When he first found out, he was in shock. We had a lot of hard conversations and played out a lot of scenarios. He kept telling me that I was giving up my college experience, that I would have to go to community college, and I'd never finish, so I should wait to have kids later in life when I could support them. I don't know what was going on with me, but at that point, I kind of felt like I was in love and I was going to have my happy family. It was naive, obviously, and I wasn't thinking clearly about how hard it was going to be. But I couldn't bring myself to ever think about having an abortion. The thing was, I wasn't on birth control and we weren't using condoms. We actually had this crazy thought that one of us was probably infertile because I never got pregnant. We were teenagers and we didn't know any better. We lived in the Bible Belt, so sexual education was completely optional in high school, and almost nobody took it. They just thought we should know better. We didn't. Before break was over, I told my two "best friends" that I was pregnant. One of them told her boyfriend who ended up telling his sister, and just like that, it spread everywhere. When I got back to school, the teachers looked down on me. It's a small town, so when one person found out, everyone did. It was just like The Scarlet Letter. As for the rest of my friends, it was a scene from a movie: I got pregnant, and they ran away. I only had two people who stuck by me, my friends Tyler and Holly. Actually, when I really think about it, my mom became my true best friend. I guess I just wasn't as fun when I was pregnant, maybe; I couldn't keep up with them, especially with their being seniors. Eventually, they all stopped calling. It was hard, emotionally, because I had to go through all of these physical changes and doctor's appointments, and they were out having fun. I felt like an outcast, which was not me at all. I was used to being one of them. Five months in, it became clear that I wasn't just putting on weight anymore, and that I was definitely pregnant. I was so swollen. I actually had tomia, and I gained 53 pounds' worth of fluid. The worst part of it all was, the more I started to show, the more my boyfriend would pull away. I couldn't really see it at the time, but slowly he would stop calling me after practice, and he eventually stopped coming over. One day, he called me up at school and asked me to come eat lunch with him. He took me to the McDonald's where we met, because all I ate during my pregnancy was chicken nuggets. And right there over our food, he said, "I think it'd be better for both of us if we took a break from each other for a while. We might get back tomorrow, you never know, I just think we should take a break." That was three days before prom. So, I didn't have a date to my senior prom and I was five months pregnant. Luckily, Tyler rented a tudo so I wouldn't have to go by myself. Prom was miserable because my feet and face were so swollen, but I guess I'm still happy I went. I got to show everybody that I wasn't ashamed of my baby and I wasn't going to give up my life just because I was pregnant. But, God, my feet hurt so much! My heels were cute, though…I remember that much. And then I graduated, six months pregnant, but with honors! I had even taken a college course. I was embarrassed because there were so many people watching me, but I was proud of myself for making it. Then, it was summer, and I could hardly move. I tried walking, but I didn't get very far. Finally, on August 1st, I had Tavin. By that point, I was so ready to get him out of me—I basically got off the elevator at the hospital and asked for the epidural right away. My whole family and my two best friends came and they stayed with me the whole time. He was born at 7:23 that night, weighing seven pounds, eleven ounces. The first thing out of my mouth when I saw him was, "I wasn't expecting a real baby!" I don't know what I was thinking, but here was this huge, living, breathing, beautiful creature lying on me. He had these chubby cheeks, huge lips, and my nose. He was so beautiful. A lot of moms get maternity leave, but I didn't want to fall behind, so I enrolled right away in nursing school and started two weeks after I had Tavin. My mom was a teacher, but she quit her job so I wouldn't have to pay for child care. My family supported me throughout all of that, and I graduated in 2013 when Tavin was two years old. I've been a pulmonary oncology nurse at a hospital ever since. I am so glad I didn't have to do it alone, and I'm so grateful my mom taught me everything from feeding him to changing his diaper. She's been my greatest support system throughout everything. Tavin has actually taught me, too. I never knew I could love somebody the way I love him. I thought I knew what love was before, but…I can't even explain it. My whole life revolves around him. I can't plan anything without making sure I have a tee-ball game organized, or something to do for his pre-school. I think of him before myself. I work crazy shifts at my job so I can be with him, but it's all so worth it. At the same time, though, I wish I would have known how hard it would be to go to school and have a baby at home. Even more, I wish I knew how hard it'd be for Tavin not to have a dad around. My ex-boyfriend hasn't seen him in months. He came to see him on Christmas, but that was the first time in two years. Tavin calls him by his first name, not dad. But, that's the norm: Guys don't have to carry the child or give birth, so they can just walk away. Girls don't have that option. But I wanted my baby, even after he left me. And that's how I learned my own strength. I discovered how wonderful it is to be a mom. I do wish I had him later on in life, and I do feel like it's my fault that his dad isn't here. But, we're doing just fine without him, and Tavin has my dad and my brother. I think sometimes about going even further in school, because I work at a teaching hospital with residents, and it makes me think about the future. I feel now that I've had this baby and become a nurse, so I can do anything. Hopefully, I'll find a nice guy to be a dad and help raise him, because he's a handful and super outgoing. He just loves people, and he recently became obsessed with The Avengers. And, of course, he loves Dierks Bentley because I've forced him to listen.

law & consent Age of Consent And why those laws exist.... The most common rationale for consent legislation in the West today is the desire to protect children and teens—who are now understood to undergo important psychological development well after they’re biologically capable of sex—from confusing and possibly abusive relationships with more powerful adults. Of course, the line that separates child from adult has never been clear, and so fudging the divide is sometimes required to avoid absurdity. Situations where a 17-year-old boyfriend has been charged with “raping” his 15-year-old girlfriend have led many state legislatures in the U.S. to establish “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which allow for exceptions or lesser punishments in cases where the couple is close in age. Read More Oregon Law In Oregon, the age of consent for sexual activity is 18 years old. In principle, this means that anyone under 18 cannot legally have sex and anyone older than 18 cannot have sex with anyone younger than 18. If they do, they commit statutory rape. However, Oregon also has authorized a “Romeo and Juliet” defense to the charge of statutory rape. This provision in ORS 163.345 effectively allows sexual consent if the partners are within 3 years of age. Thus, an 18-year old can have sex with a 15-year old and in principle a 16-year old could have sex with a 13-year old provided that both partners are within 3 years of age and it is consensual. In fact, given the text of the statutes, a 14 or 15-year old could have sex with a 12-year old if it was consensual. However, for cases of sexual misconduct , the alleged victim must be at least 15 years old for defendants to claim ORS 163.345 as a defense. (Sexual misconduct is a C misdemeanor). It is a common misconception that consensual sex of two people under 18 is legal. It is not actually legal; the law providing criminal charges for Rape II and Rape III are broad and clear – it is illegal. In theory, if two teenagers within 3 years had consensual sex after prom, they could both be charged by the DA. However, this would almost certainly never happen because both teenagers could point to ORS 163.345 and that would clear them in any trial. But Romeo and Juliet notwithstanding, Oregon consent laws are among the strictest in the world. In most European countries and many US states, it is fully legal for a 16-year old to consent to sex with a partner of any age. In Oregon, only an 18-year old can consent to sex with a partner of any age.