Sex Positivity: Educate, Empower, Self-Define! Consent Consent is the expression of a mutual desire between parties to participate in a sexual activity. Sexual activity without consent is sexual violence. Period. Consent is fundamental in creating a sex-positive space. It is vitally important to respect other people’s consensual choices when it comes to their identity and body. Consent can be withdrawn at any time and it is given without coercion. Someone saying “yes” because they are too afraid to say “no” is not what consent looks like. Someone changing their mind about a sexual desire and then being forced to engage in it anyway is not what consent looks like. Consent isn’t always spoken, but it should never be assumed. The absence of a “no” is not a “yes!” Minors, people who are mentally incapacitated or unconscious, and people under the influence of drugs or alcohol are unable to give consent. Self-Defined Sexuality Sex positivity celebrates healthy sexual relationships, diversity within those relationships, bodily autonomy, and empowering individuals to control their own sex life (or lack thereof). You define what is right for you–there is no “right” way to engage in sex and express your sexuality as long as everything involves consent, empowerment, and respect. Breaking Down Gender Myths Gender roles are the behavioral expectations placed on people in relation to the gender binary. It’s important to remember that gender is a social construct, and if someone doesn’t fit into the societal expectations for what their gender (or lack of gender) looks and acts like, that is perfectly okay! Critically examining gender roles and participating in behaviors and expressions that make you happy is extremely sex-positive! It is important not to put other people in boxes when it comes to sexual expression, and everyone should be able to express their gender in a way that empowers them. Safe Sex Comprehensive Sex Education Empowering folks to take control of their sexuality starts by making sure they know how their bodies work and how to keep them safe. According to the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), comprehensive sex education is characterized by teaching age-appropriate, medically accurate information on topics such as sexuality, human development, decision-making, abstinence, contraception, and disease prevention. Comprehensive sex education provides students with factual information on abortion, masturbation, and sexual orientation, and they are encouraged to explore their own values, goals, and options. These curriculums also cover consent, healthy relationships, communication skills, and bodily autonomy. Sex-positive, comprehensive sex education does not intertwine sexual identities and choices with character and is supportive of students’ safe and informed exploration of gender and sexual expression. SIECUS defines the following curricula as not sex-positive: Abstinence-Based: Programs that emphasize the benefits of abstinence but also include information about sexual behavior other than intercourse and contraception and disease prevention. Abstinence-Only: Programs that emphasize abstinence from all sexual behaviors and don’t include information about contraception or disease prevention. Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage: Programs that emphasize abstinence from all sexual behaviors outside of marriage and often present marriage as the only morally correct context for sexual activity. If contraception or disease-prevention methods are discussed, failure rates are typically emphasized. Fear-Based: Abstinence-centered programs that are designed to control young people’s sexual behavior by instilling fear, shame, and guilt in them via negative messages about sexuality, distorted information about condoms and STIs, and biases about gender, sexual orientation, marriage, family structure, and pregnancy. Comprehensive sex education has been proven time and time again to lower rates of unprotected sex, unintended pregnancy, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). According to research conducted by the Journal of Adolescent Health, teens who receive comprehensive sex education are 50% less likely to experience pregnancy than those who receive other types of sex education. Despite tremendous evidence that comprehensive sex ed leads to a healthier youth population and abstinence-only programs are ineffective, the federal government has invested billions of dollars on abstinence-only programs over the past 20 years. Only 22 states require sex education in public schools, and only 19 of those require sex education to be medically accurate. President Obama has slashed the budget that supports abstinence-only sex education, but there is still a lot of work to be done at the state and local levels to ensure young people have access to comprehensive sex education. Condoms and Contraception Making condoms and contraception accessible is a critical aspect of empowering people to control their own sexuality. When used correctly, condoms–including condoms, dental dams, and insertive condoms–are very effective at preventing the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). However, to prevent pregnancy it is critical that condom use be paired with other forms of contraception such as the pill, implant, ring, and IUD. It is common, especially among younger populations, for condoms to be used inconsistently and incorrectly, which contributes to failure rate between 12% and 18% for preventing pregnancy. It is important for all people to have access and knowledge of these resources. To learn more about condoms and contraception, check out plannedparenthood.org and bedsider.org. To push for better birth control access on campus, check out our Birth Control Access Campaign! Fighting Rape Culture “Rape culture” refers to a complex set of beliefs that create an environment in which sexual violence is prevalent and in which sexual assault and coercion are normalized. These beliefs are perpetuated through misogynistic language, objectification, and the glamorization of sexual violence and create a society that disregards rights and safety, blames victims of sexual assault, and normalizes sexual violence. Sex positivity fights rape culture by emphasizing consent, valuing bodily autonomy, and empowering young people to make informed decisions. These elements work together to deconstruct slut-shaming and victim-blaming–harmful elements of rape culture that permeate many elements of our society. Sex positivity also combats rape culture by ending the social cycle of guilt people might experience about sexual activity, examining harmful elements of hyper-masculinity, fostering safe spaces for survivors, encouraging people to view others as full humans with bodily autonomy, and deconstructing harmful power dynamics in relationships. Fostering Self-Love An important element of sex positivity is the practice of loving yourself holistically–physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Body positivity is about developing a healthy, loving relationship with your body, in all of its uniqueness and perfect imperfections. The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (anad.org) found that 91% of women surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting and 58% felt pressure to be a certain weight. All people in our society are affected by the unrealistic and often unhealthy standards of western beauty, but young women are disproportionately affected. It is estimated that 95% of people suffering from an eating disorder are between the ages of 12 and 25, and 85% are young women. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and other specified feeding or eating disorders (OSFED) are caused by a combination of sociocultural, psychological, and biological factors; they do not discriminate by socioeconomic status. Marginalized groups are more vulnerable to eating disorders, but are less likely to be diagnosed and treated. No one should feel ashamed of their body, and our culture shouldn’t be pushing unrealistic beauty standards on women and girls. We should encourage women to define their value by finding what makes them feel strong, healthy, and empowered–not by what society says they should look like. Glossary Gender: The socially constructed idea of what “masculine” and “feminine” look, act, and feel like. Gender Binary: The social dichotomy that polarizes the masculine and feminine and allows for little in-between. Heteronormativity: The belief that people should fall in line with the assigned binary identities they’re assigned. LGBTQIA Spectrum: A range of sexual and gender identities including folks who identify as: Asexual: A person who does not feel sexual attraction toward any group of people. Bisexual: A person attracted to people who identify with varying genders. Lesbian: A woman who is primarily attracted to other women. Gay: A person who is attracted primarily to a person of the same gender. Genderqueer: A person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Intersex: A person whose anatomy or chromosomes at birth defy definitions of “female” and “male.” Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of their sex, gender, or gender identity. Queer: A reclaimed term sometimes used by members of the LGBT community to identify their sexuality or refer to that community. Transgender: A person who doesn’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth or the gender binary. (Cisgender people do.) Monogamy: A relationship practice in which people partner with only one person at a time. Polyamory: A relationship practice in which people may partner with multiple people in varying ways. Privilege: A position of social or cultural power someone is born with (i.e. white privilege, heterosexual privilege) or otherwise obtains (i.e. education or wealth). Self-care: The act of taking steps to honor your physical, emotional, situational, or spiritual well-being. Sex: The socially constructed biological categories of “male” and “female” and the stuff in-between. Slut-Shaming: When people are made to feel bad, guilty or inferior for their actual or alleged sexual behavior. Victim-Blaming: When victims of crimes are made to feel responsible for what they’ve experienced. This occurs frequently in conversations about sexual assault, in which survivors are often asked “what they were wearing” or “why they chose to walk home alone” as if their behavior could have ever warranted sexual violence. WEBSITE

Sti risk and oral sex STI Risk And Oral Sex Many sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) can be spread through oral sex. Using a condom, dental dam or other barrier method each and every time you have oral sex can reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI. LEARN MORE

sexual orientation What Is Sexual Orientation? Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Queer. Questioning. Asexual. Straight. There are many labels that describe who you’re attracted to romantically and sexually. Maybe you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about your sexual orientation. Or maybe you haven’t given it much thought. Either way, sexual orientation is just one part of who you are. LEARN MORE Love Is Love Sometimes sexual orientation changes over time. And sometimes it stays the same throughout your life. But sexual orientation isn’t a choice, and can’t be changed by therapy, treatment, or pressure from family or friends. You also can’t “turn” a person gay. For example, a girl who plays with toys traditionally made for boys isn’t going to become a lesbian because of that. LEARN MORE Who Can I Talk To About My Sexual Orientation? Figuring out your sexual orientation can feel confusing and lonely. But it doesn’t have to be. LEARN MORE

Coming Out What is “coming out”? “Coming out” is understanding your own sexual orientation or gender identity and then deciding to share it with some or all of the people in your life. Coming out is different for everyone and there are lots of ways to do it. Some LGBTQ people choose to come out only to themselves, and not to anyone else. Only you can know what’s best for your life right now. Learn more about coming out. Should I come out? Coming out is a decision that LGBTQ people have to face all the time, with every new person they meet. So it’s something you’ll probably do over and over again throughout your life. The way you approach and experience coming out might change, depending on where you are and who you’re with. Coming out is a very personal decision. You — and only you — get to decide if, when, and how you do it. Coming out can be a really important step, and people should only come out if and when they’re ready and feel safe doing so. It’s never ok to pressure someone into coming out or to out a LGBTQ person without their permission. You might want to start by talking with other people who are LGBTQ. Sometimes it’s also helpful to talk to adults you trust, like a counselor, social worker, teacher, or supportive family member, to help you decide when you want to come out, and who to come out to. For all people — and young people especially — gender and sexuality can change and evolve over time. It might take you a while to fully understand your own sexual orientation and gender identity, and these things can shift as you get older. Sharing a big part of who you are as a person during the time that you’re trying to figure it all out can be complicated. For a lot of people, coming out can be a great experience — especially if they have support from their friends, families, and communities. While it can make your relationships better and make you feel great, it can also feel scary depending on who you’re coming out to and what you think their reaction will be. And unfortunately in some places there’s a lot of homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia — fear and hatred of people who are LGBTQ. If you think coming out might cause you harm — physical, emotional, or financial — you may decide to wait to come out until you have a plan to take care of yourself.

BIrth control Birth Control Resources Birth Control CDC Website Many elements need to be considered by women, men, or couples at any given point in their lifetimes when choosing the most appropriate contraceptive method. These elements include safety, effectiveness, availability (including accessibility and affordability), and acceptability. Voluntary informed choice of contraceptive methods is an essential guiding principle, and contraceptive counseling, when applicable, might be an important contributor to the successful use of contraceptive methods. Transportation Website Getting To A Clinic Birth Control PP Website Birth control is how you prevent pregnancy. There are lots of different birth control options out there. We’re here to help you figure it all out. Birth Control Bedsider Website The explorer is a place to learn about all your birth control options. We cover every available method, from the IUD (and others on our most effective list) to condoms, the pill, the patch, and more. Click on any method for more details. Want a more apples-to-apples way to compare? Cost Of Condoms and Birth Control Website They are A LOT Cheaper than having a baby... Power To Decide Website Having the power to decide if, when, and under what circumstances to get pregnant and have a child increases young people’s opportunities to be healthy, to complete their education, and to pursue the future they want. The Pill Club Website $0 with most insurance (low prices without) and best of all, you can skip the drug store line. Get treated right with The Pill Club. One At Home Website This program allows Oregon residents to receive a free envelope of sexual wellness supplies delivered discreetly to their door, up to twice per 30 days. Pregnancy CHW Clinic Services More Info Pregnancy Testing CHW Oregon Mother's Care More Info Access to OHP CHW WIC Program More Info Nutrition program for mothers and children CHW Maternity Case Management More Info Home visiting program CHW The Lactation Club More Info Breastfeeding support and education DHS TANF More Info Temporary Assistance For Needy Families Bay Clinic More Info Prenatal Care Providers and OB-GYNs North Bend Medical Center More Info Prenatal Care Providers and OB-GYNs Bay Area Hospital MOMS Program More Info Birth, parenting and breastfeeding classes Pacific Pregnancy Clinic More Info Pregnancy continuation Safe Haven Maternity Home More Info Provides a safe home for pregnant women and mothers and their babies who are in crisis. Pregnancy Resources LGBTQ LGBTQ Resources Be An Ally And A Friend More info 10 Ways To Be An Ally And A Friend Coming Out More info Coming out as LGBTQ can be exciting, overwhelming, and sometimes scary. It’s different for everyone, and you’re the only one who can decide when the time is right. Love Is Love More info Sometimes sexual orientation changes over time. And sometimes it stays the same throughout your life. But sexual orientation isn’t a choice, and can’t be changed by therapy, treatment, or pressure from family or friends. You also can’t “turn” a person gay. For example, a girl who plays with toys traditionally made for boys isn’t going to become a lesbian because of that. PFLAG More info PFLAG has been saving lives, strengthening families, changing hearts, minds and laws since 1972. Our family and ally voice is integral to advancing equality. Safer Sex For Trans Bodies More info Resources for Transgender People Sex, Gender And Gender Identity More info There’s a lot more to being male, female, or any gender than the sex assigned at birth. Your biological or assigned sex does not always tell your complete story. Trans And Gender Nonconforming Identities More info Some people feel that the sex they were assigned at birth doesn’t match their gender identity, or the gender that they feel they are inside. These people are often called transgender. Trans Women's Safer Sex Guide More info Trans Women's Safer Sex Guide UNI-T Flier More info UNI-T Flier Vocabulary More info To help you make sense of the alphabet soup, and be as respectful and accurate as possible when using identifying language. What Is Sexual Orientation? More info Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Queer. Questioning. Asexual. Straight. There are many labels that describe who you’re attracted to romantically and sexually. Maybe you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about your sexual orientation. Or maybe you haven’t given it much thought. Either way, sexual orientation is just one part of who you are. Who Can I Talk To About My Sexual Orientation? More info Figuring out your sexual orientation can feel confusing and lonely. But it doesn’t have to be. common stiS Common STIs Resources Bacterial Vaginosis More Info Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is a condition that happens when there is too much of certain bacteria in the vagina. This changes the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina. Chlamydia More Info Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can be easily cured. If left untreated, chlamydia can make it difficult for a woman to get pregnant. Genital Herpes More Info Genital herpes is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that any sexually active person can get. Most people with the virus don’t have symptoms. Even without signs of the disease, herpes can still be spread to sex partners. Gonorrhea More Info Anyone who is sexually active can get gonorrhea. Gonorrhea can cause very serious complications when not treated, but can be cured with the right medication. HIV/AIDS More Info HIV is a virus spread through body fluids that attacks the body’s immune system, specifically the CD4 cells, often called T cells. Hepatitis A More Info Hepatitis A is a contagious liver infection caused by the hepatitis A virus. Hepatitis A can be prevented with a vaccine. People who get hepatitis A may feel sick for a few weeks to several months but usually recover completely and do not have lasting liver damage. In rare cases, hepatitis A can cause liver failure and even death; this is more common in older people and in people with other serious health issues, such as chronic liver disease. Hepatitis B More Info Hepatitis B can be a serious liver disease that results from infection with the Hepatitis B virus. Hepatitis C More Info HCV infection is the most common chronic bloodborne infection in the United States, with an estimated 2.7 million persons living with chronic infection. Human Papillomavirus (HPV) More Info Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States. Some health effects caused by HPV can be prevented by the HPV vaccines. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) More Info Untreated sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), a serious condition, in women. 1 in 8 women with a history of PID experience difficulties getting pregnant. You can prevent PID if you know how to protect yourself. Pubic Lice "Crabs" More Info Also called crab lice or “crabs,” pubic lice are parasitic insects found primarily in the pubic or genital area of humans. Pubic lice infestation is found worldwide and occurs in all races, ethnic groups, and levels of society. STI Treatment More Info If your sexual history and current signs and symptoms suggest that you have a sexually transmitted infection (STI), laboratory tests can identify the cause and detect coinfections you might also have. Scabies More Info Scabies is an infestation of the skin by the human itch mite (Sarcoptes scabiei var. hominis). The microscopic scabies mite burrows into the upper layer of the skin where it lives and lays its eggs. Syphilis More Info Syphilis is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can have very serious complications when left untreated, but it is simple to cure with the right treatment. Trichomoniasis More Info Most people who have trichomoniasis do not have any symptoms. Adoption Adoption National Pro Choice Adoption Collaborative More Info NPAC is Open Adoption & Family Services (OA&FS) and Friends in Adoption (FIA). We are very unique in that we are pro-choice, not religiously affiliated and do not discriminate. All Options Hotline More Info Boys And Girls Society Of Oregon More Info The most powerful support in the world is family. We're committed to ensuring every child grows up with a family of their own. Open Adopt More Info Only you can decide which choice is right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ll stand by you, offering our compassion, guidance and support. By exploring each pregnancy option thoroughly, you will gain clarity about what choice feels best to you. SUSAN C MOFFET, PC More Info Adoption & Family Formation Law ending a pregnancy Ending A Pregnancy Planned Parenthood More Info There are two ways of ending a pregnancy: in-clinic abortion and the abortion pill. Both are safe and very common. If you’re pregnant and thinking about abortion, you may have lots of questions. We’re here to help. Lilith Clinic More Info When no one else would, or could, give women choice, we did. And now, more than 40 years later, we continue to help women – and men – make the best possible choices for their futures. Northwest Abortion Access Fund More Info The Northwest Abortion Access Fund is an abortion fund serving Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and Alaska. We help people pay for their abortion care by sending funding directly to the clinic. We also help people get to and from the clinic. And we make sure people traveling for care have a safe place to stay. Events Calendar

law & consent Age of Consent And why those laws exist.... The most common rationale for consent legislation in the West today is the desire to protect children and teens—who are now understood to undergo important psychological development well after they’re biologically capable of sex—from confusing and possibly abusive relationships with more powerful adults. Of course, the line that separates child from adult has never been clear, and so fudging the divide is sometimes required to avoid absurdity. Situations where a 17-year-old boyfriend has been charged with “raping” his 15-year-old girlfriend have led many state legislatures in the U.S. to establish “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which allow for exceptions or lesser punishments in cases where the couple is close in age. Read More Oregon Law In Oregon, the age of consent for sexual activity is 18 years old. In principle, this means that anyone under 18 cannot legally have sex and anyone older than 18 cannot have sex with anyone younger than 18. If they do, they commit statutory rape. However, Oregon also has authorized a “Romeo and Juliet” defense to the charge of statutory rape. This provision in ORS 163.345 effectively allows sexual consent if the partners are within 3 years of age. Thus, an 18-year old can have sex with a 15-year old and in principle a 16-year old could have sex with a 13-year old provided that both partners are within 3 years of age and it is consensual. In fact, given the text of the statutes, a 14 or 15-year old could have sex with a 12-year old if it was consensual. However, for cases of sexual misconduct , the alleged victim must be at least 15 years old for defendants to claim ORS 163.345 as a defense. (Sexual misconduct is a C misdemeanor). It is a common misconception that consensual sex of two people under 18 is legal. It is not actually legal; the law providing criminal charges for Rape II and Rape III are broad and clear – it is illegal. In theory, if two teenagers within 3 years had consensual sex after prom, they could both be charged by the DA. However, this would almost certainly never happen because both teenagers could point to ORS 163.345 and that would clear them in any trial. But Romeo and Juliet notwithstanding, Oregon consent laws are among the strictest in the world. In most European countries and many US states, it is fully legal for a 16-year old to consent to sex with a partner of any age. In Oregon, only an 18-year old can consent to sex with a partner of any age.

Ending A Pregnancy There are two ways of ending a pregnancy: in-clinic abortion and the abortion pill. Both are safe and very common. If you’re pregnant and thinking about abortion, you may have lots of questions. We’re here to help. Is abortion the right option for me? Abortion is very common, and people have abortions for many different reasons. Only you know what’s best for you, but good information and support can really help you make the decision that is best for your own health and well-being. Why do people decide to have an abortion? If you’re thinking about having an abortion, you’re so not alone. Millions of people face unplanned pregnancies every year, and about 4 out of 10 of them decide to get an abortion. Some people with planned pregnancies also get abortions because of health or safety reasons. Overall, 1 in 4 women in the U.S. will have an abortion by the time they’re 45 years old. Sometimes, the decision is simple. Other times, it’s complicated. But either way, the decision to have an abortion is personal, and you’re the only one who can make it. Everyone has their own unique and valid reasons for having an abortion. Some of the many different reasons people decide to end a pregnancy include: They want to be the best parent possible to the kids they already have. They’re not ready to be a parent yet. It’s not a good time in their life to have a baby. They want to finish school, focus on work, or achieve other goals before having a baby. They’re not in a relationship with someone they want to have a baby with. They’re in an abusive relationship or were sexually assaulted. The pregnancy is dangerous or bad for their health. The fetus won’t survive the pregnancy or will suffer after birth. They just don’t want to be a parent. Deciding to have an abortion doesn’t mean you don’t want or love children. In fact, 6 out of 10 people who get abortions already have kids — and many of them decide to end their pregnancies so they can focus on the children they already have. And people who aren’t already parents when they get an abortion often go on to have a baby later, when they feel they are in a better position to be a good parent. The bottom line is, deciding if and when to have a baby is very personal, and only you know what’s best for you and your family. What can I think about to help me decide? Family, relationships, school, work, life goals, health, safety, and personal beliefs — people think carefully about these things before having an abortion. But you’re the only person walking in your shoes, and the only person who can decide whether to have an abortion. The decision is 100% yours. Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about an abortion: Am I ready to be a parent? Would I consider adoption? What would it mean for my future if I had a child now? What would it mean for my family if I had a child now? How would being a parent affect my career goals? Do I have strong personal or religious beliefs about abortion? Is anyone pressuring me to have or not have an abortion? Would having a baby change my life in a way I do or don’t want? Would having an abortion change my life in a way I do or don’t want? What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to get an abortion? What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to have a baby? Decisions about your pregnancy are deeply personal. You hold the power to make decisions that are best for you in order to stay on your own path to a healthy and meaningful life. There are lots of things to consider, and it’s totally normal to have many different feelings and thoughts when making this decision. That’s why it’s important to get factual, non-judgmental information about abortion. Support from family, friends, partners, and other people you trust can also be helpful. But at the end of the day, only you know what’s right for you. Who can I talk with about getting an abortion? Lots of people lean on others to help them with their decision. It’s good to choose people who you know are understanding and supportive of you. Your local health center has caring professionals that can answer any questions you may have. They'll give you expert care, accurate information about all your options, and non-judgmental support along the way — no matter what you decide about your pregnancy. Other family planning centers and private doctors may also talk with you about your decision. But be careful when looking for a reliable health center, because there are fake clinics out there that claim to offer information about pregnancy options and abortion. They’re called Crisis Pregnancy Centers, and they’re run by people who don’t believe in giving you honest facts about abortion, pregnancy, and birth control. Crisis pregnancy centers are often located very close to Planned Parenthood health centers or other real medical centers, and have similar names — they do this to confuse people and trick them into visiting them instead. No one should pressure you into making any decision about your pregnancy, no matter what. So it’s important to get the info and support you need from people who give you the real facts and won’t judge you. If you’re having a hard time finding someone in your life to talk with, check out All-Options. All-Options has a free hotline that gives you a confidential space to talk about making decisions about a pregnancy. They’ll give you judgment-free support at any point in your pregnancy experience, no matter what you decide to do or how you feel about it. When do I have to make a decision? It’s important to take the time you need to make the best decision for you. It’s also a good idea to talk to a nurse or doctor as soon as you can so you can get the best medical care possible. The staff at your local Planned Parenthood health center is always here to provide expert medical care and support, no matter what decision you make.

Safer Sex Tools

relationships LOCAL RESOURCES A partner might have specific reasons for not wanting to use condoms. Click on "Let's Talk" to get ideas about how to respond if you ever feel pressured to have sex without a condom Let’s Talk Relationships What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? LEARN MORE recognize 50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships LEARN MORE 10 SIGNS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP comfortable pace You and your partner allow the relationship to happen at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. Often times when you begin dating someone, you may feel that you’re spending all of your time with them because you want to – that is great! But be sure that nothing feels imbalanced or rushed in the relationship. In a healthy relationship, nobody pressures the other to have sex, make the relationship exclusive, move in together, meet their family and friends, get married, or have a baby. When you do choose to take these steps, you both feel happy and excited about it—no mixed feelings. trust Believing your partner won’t do anything to hurt you or ruin the relationship. Examples are when your partner is comfortable when you do things without them, has faith that you won’t cheat on them, respects your privacy online (like who you text and Snapchat), and doesn’t make you go out of your way or work hard to “earn” their trust. honesty Being truthful and open with your partner. It’s important to be able to talk together about what you both want. In a healthy relationship, you can talk to your partner without fearing how they’ll respond or if you’ll be judged. They may not like what you have to say, but a healthy partner will respond to disappointing news in a considerate way. Some examples are having good communication about what you both want and expect and never feeling like you have to hide who you talk to or hang with from your partner. independence Having space and freedom in your relationship to do you. Examples are when your partner supports you having friends and a life outside of your relationship and not needing to be attached at the hip or know every little detail about your life. respect If respect is present in your relationship, your partner will value your beliefs, opinions and who you are as a person. Examples are complimenting you, supporting your hard work and dreams, not trying to push or overstep your boundaries, and sticking up for you. equality You and your partner have the same say and put equal effort into the relationship (instead of feeling like one person has more say than the other). Examples are feeling like you are heard in your relationship or feeling comfortable speaking up, making decisions together as opposed to one person calling all the shots, and equally compromising on decisions in your relationship that make the other person feel important or respected. compassion Feeling a sense of care and concern from your partner and knowing that they will be there to support you, too. If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner will be kind to you, they will understand and be supportive of you when you’re going through tough times, and they will lend a helping hand in times of need. An important caveat is that it has to be two-sided and displayed equally. taking responsibility You and your partner are both responsible for your own actions and words. You both avoid putting blame on each other and own up to your actions when you do something wrong. Examples are when your partner genuinely apologizes for their mistakes, they avoid taking things out on you when they’re upset, and they try to make positive changes to better your relationship. loyalty When your partner is reliable and you feel confident that they have your back. Some examples are when your partner is respectful and faithful, sticks up for you, doesn’t take sides against you but helps you see the middle ground, and keeps your secrets safe. In a healthy relationship, you don’t have to test the other person’s loyalty, because you just know it’s there. Sometimes people say “we all make mistakes” and “nobody’s perfect” to make excuses for disloyalty. If you find yourself saying that more than once, it’s a red flag that the relationship may not be healthy. communication If you can talk to your partner about anything—the good and the bad—this is a sign of a healthy relationship. Examples are when you feel like your partner will listen to you when you need to talk and that they are open to discussing further and when you don’t feel judged for your words or opinions. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WHEN TO SEEK HELP when to seek help Could You Be In An Abusive Relationship? Take The Quiz To Find Out More... Abusive Relationships Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind. LEARN MORE HElp A friend If your friend or family member is undergoing the serious and painful effects of dating abuse, they may have a very different point of view than you. They may have heard the abuse was their fault and feel responsible. Even after realizing that there’s abuse, they may choose to stay in the relationship. As a friend, try to be there for them because although they may not show it, they need you more than ever. LEARN MORE If you or someone you know is in an Abusive relationship, there is help available. Get Started Here. GET HELP THE SAFE PROJECT The SAFE Project provides emergency services and advocacy to survivors of domestic and sexual violence. *24-Hour Crisis Line *Emergency Shelter *Crisis Response Team *Assistance to clients who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual assault Call NOW Age of Consent And why those laws exist.... The most common rationale for consent legislation in the West today is the desire to protect children and teens—who are now understood to undergo important psychological development well after they’re biologically capable of sex—from confusing and possibly abusive relationships with more powerful adults. Of course, the line that separates child from adult has never been clear, and so fudging the divide is sometimes required to avoid absurdity. Situations where a 17-year-old boyfriend has been charged with “raping” his 15-year-old girlfriend have led many state legislatures in the U.S. to establish “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which allow for exceptions or lesser punishments in cases where the couple is close in age. Read More AGE OF CONSENT

Sex and COVID With mandatory mask wearing and physical distancing of at least six feet becoming the norm around the nation, the question remains—is sex safe? In short—it can be, but experts say any type of in-person sexual activity does carry some risk. But there are ways to have intimate contact and remain connected.

Parenting Is parenting the right option for me? Deciding whether to raise a child is a very important and very personal choice. Everyone’s situation is different, and only you know what’s best for you and your family. Why do people decide to become parents? If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, you’re not alone — about half of all women in the U.S. have an unplanned pregnancy at some point in their lives. People who are pregnant have three options: parenting, having an abortion, or placing their baby for adoption. Many decide to continue the pregnancy and parent the child. Everyone has their own unique and valid reasons for choosing to have and raise a child. Parenting can be joyful, rewarding, and life-changing — many parents say it’s the best decision they ever made. But having a baby is also a lifelong commitment that takes lots of love, energy, and patience. It’s normal to have lots of different feelings about whether you’re ready to take on the challenge of parenting. Sometimes, deciding what to do about an unplanned pregnancy is really simple and easy. Other times, it’s very difficult or complicated. But either way, the choice to become a parent is personal, and you’re the only one who can make it. Am I ready for a baby? Family, relationships, money, school, work, life goals, personal beliefs, and the well-being of your future child — most people think carefully about all of these things before choosing to parent. But every person’s situation is different, and only you can decide what’s best in your case. Here are some things to ask yourself if you’re thinking about becoming a parent: Do I want to start a family now? Am I ready to be totally responsible for all of my child’s needs? Will I be able to raise my child in a loving and healthy home? Can I afford to raise a child right now? What kind of support will I have from my family, my friends, and my partner/the father? What would having a baby right now mean for my future? How would having a baby right now affect my family or other children? Would I consider adoption or abortion? Is someone pressuring me to become a parent? Am I ready to go through pregnancy and childbirth? Do my partner and I both feel good about staying together and parenting together? How do I feel about co-parenting if we break up, or parenting alone? Though parenting is hard work, it can also be fun, exciting, and super rewarding. The love parents share with their kids can be really fulfilling. But parents have to give up a lot for their children. Meeting your child's needs can be very challenging. People who are raising kids usually get less sleep and don’t have as much time to do things they need and want to do. Having a baby is expensive, and many people find it hard to financially support their children. Having children can also mess with your school or career plans and goals. Parenting with a partner can bring you closer together, and creating a family with someone often feels really gratifying. But many people find that having a child tests even the strongest relationship in ways they don’t expect. Raising a child on your own can be especially challenging, but everyone’s situation is different, and there’s no way to know for sure how having a baby will affect your life and relationships. There’s lots of stuff to consider, and it’s totally normal to have many different feelings and thoughts when making your decision. That’s why it’s important to get honest, supportive information about all of your pregnancy options. Support from other people you trust can also help you figure out if parenting is right for you. Who can I talk to about having a baby? Talking with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a religious advisor, or a counselor can be helpful when you’re making a choice about an unplanned pregnancy. Asking other parents about the joys and struggles of parenting can also help you figure out if you’re ready to raise a child. But it’s good to choose people who you know are supportive of you and won’t be judgmental. Many family planning clinics have specially trained staff that can give you accurate information about all of your options and other resources if you need more help. At a clinic listed on the Clinics and Providers page, you can get information about all of your options, answers to your questions, and support no matter what you decide to do. But be careful when looking for a reliable health center. There are fake clinics that say they have pregnancy services. These are called Crisis Pregnancy Centers, and they’re run by people who are anti-abortion and don’t believe in giving you truthful facts about all of your pregnancy options. No one should pressure you into making any decision about your pregnancy, no matter what. So it’s important to get the info and support you need from people who give you the real facts and won’t judge you. At the end of the day, only you know what’s right for you. If you’re having a hard time finding someone in your life to talk with, check out All-Options. All-Options has a free hotline 1-888-493-0092 that gives you a confidential space to talk through your pregnancy experience. They’ll give you judgment-free support, no matter what choice you make or how you feel about it. When do I have to make a decision about my pregnancy? It’s important to take the time you need to make the best decision for you. If there’s a chance you’ll continue your pregnancy — whether or not you choose to parent the child — start getting prenatal care as soon as you can. And visit your doctor regularly throughout your pregnancy to make sure you and your pregnancy are healthy. No matter what decision you make, it’s a good idea to talk to a nurse or doctor as soon as you can so you can get the best medical care possible. The staff at your local health center are always here to provide expert medical care and support, no matter what decision you make.

how to deal with bullies BE STRONG People who experience homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic harassment often feel alone and are afraid to tell anyone what’s happening. You should never have to face harassment. If you’re a young person who’s experiencing harassment in school, it’s important to tell someone, even if that seems scary. If you don’t seek help and just accept it, the harassment will probably continue, or maybe even get worse over time. This can make it hard to keep up with grades, activities, and school in general. Q&A Coos County The Trevor Project The Trevor Project offers accredited life-saving, life-affirming programs and services to LGBTQ youth that create safe, accepting and inclusive environments over the phone, online and through text. READ MORE