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Making Sex Safer If you have anal, oral, or vaginal sex, the best way to prevent STIs is using barriers like condoms and dams. Lube can also help make sex safer (and better!). Do condoms prevent STIs and make sex safer? They sure can help! Condoms are one of the best ways to help prevent STIs. (And bonus! They help prevent pregnancy, too.) There are two kinds of condoms: regular condoms fit snugly on the penis. Internal condoms (also called female condoms) are worn inside the vagina or anus. Never use a regular condom with a internal condom at the same time — just use one or the other. Condoms and internal condoms put a barrier between the penis and the other person’s anus, vagina, or mouth. This barrier protects both partners by keeping fluids that can carry infections (like semen and vaginal fluids) out of the other person’s genitals. By covering the penis or inside of the vagina or anus, condoms and internal condoms also prevent skin-to-skin touching that can spread certain STIs (like herpes and genital warts). But condoms may not work as well to prevent skin-to-skin STIs, because they don’t cover every body part that can be infected (like the scrotum or labia). Put on a condom before your penis even touches your partner’s mouth or genitals, or they won’t work as well to prevent STIs. Most condoms are made from latex, a kind of rubber. There are also condoms made out of thin, soft plastics like polyurethane, polyisoprene, and nitrile. Internal condoms are made from nitrile, too. Plastic condoms are great for people who have latex allergies or sensitivities. Condoms made of lambskin or other animal membranes DO NOT protect against HIV or other STIs — they only help to prevent pregnancy. Only latex or plastic condoms and internal condoms help stop STIs. It’s also a good idea to use condoms on sex toys if you share them with other people (use a new condom any time a new person uses it), to avoid swapping body fluids that can carry STIs. Condoms without spermicide are better at preventing STIs than spermicidal condoms. If you use spermicide many times a day, it may make you more likely to get an STI. That’s because nonoxynyl-9 (a chemical in most spermicides) can irritate your skin, which can make it easier for infections to get in your body. Do dental dams make oral sex safer? Yes indeed! Dental dams — aka “dams” for short — are thin, square pieces of latex that help prevent STIs during oral sex on a vulva or anus. Dams protect you by keeping vaginal fluids out of your mouth, and preventing skin-to-skin contact between your mouth and a vulva or anus. They also protect you during oral-to-anal sex from germs that can cause digestive infections. Dams are easy to use. You lay them over a vulva and/or anus, and then do your thing. You don’t need to stretch the dam taut or press it tight against the skin — just hold it gently in place. Dams may even cling to your body on their own because of vaginal moisture or static. Dams can sometimes be hard to find in stores. If you don’t have a dam handy, you can cut open a condom and lay it flat on your partner’s vulva or anus. (By the way, they’re called dental dams because dentists also sometimes use them to protect their patient’s mouth during dental work.) Can I use lubricant to make sex safer? This is a great idea! Many people don’t realize that lube can make sex safer AND increase comfort and pleasure at the same time. The friction that happens when you rub your genitals together during sex can irritate your skin, or even cause small tears in your sensitive genital skin that make it easier for STIs to get into your body. Friction also makes condoms break more easily. Lube keeps sex nice and slippery, cutting down on the friction and leading to safer and more comfortable sex. Using lube doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or your partner. Things like medicine, hormonal changes, stress, and age can change the way your vagina lubricates (gets wet) during sex. Lots of people use an extra lubricant just because they like the way it feels. It’s especially important to use lube if you have anal sex. Unlike a vagina, your anus can’t lubricate itself at all. Without lube, anal sex can be super painful and even dangerous. Dry anal sex leads to irritation and tears in your anus and rectum, putting you at a higher risk for STIs like HIV. Most condoms come pre-lubricated, but adding more lube helps condoms feel extra good and keeps them from breaking. Put a few drops on the head of your penis or inside the tip of your condom before you roll it on, and/or spread lube on the outside of the condom once you’re wearing it. Always make sure your lube is safe to use with condoms. This means only using water-based or silicone lube with latex condoms — lube with oil in it can break down latex and cause condoms to tear. It’s also a bad idea to use lotions, baby oil, or Vaseline as sexual lubricants, because they can irritate your genitals and break condoms. Sexual lubricants that you get in the condom aisle at the drugstore are usually safe to use with condoms. You can always read the package or directions, just to be sure. Spermicide can make your chances of getting an STI a little higher, especially if you’re using it many times a day, so it’s better to use lube that doesn’t have spermicide in it. Spermicide usually has an ingredient called nonoxynyl-9 that can irritate the skin in your anus or vagina, which can make it easier for you to get an infection like an STI.

law & consent Age of Consent And why those laws exist.... The most common rationale for consent legislation in the West today is the desire to protect children and teens—who are now understood to undergo important psychological development well after they’re biologically capable of sex—from confusing and possibly abusive relationships with more powerful adults. Of course, the line that separates child from adult has never been clear, and so fudging the divide is sometimes required to avoid absurdity. Situations where a 17-year-old boyfriend has been charged with “raping” his 15-year-old girlfriend have led many state legislatures in the U.S. to establish “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which allow for exceptions or lesser punishments in cases where the couple is close in age. Read More Oregon Law In Oregon, the age of consent for sexual activity is 18 years old. In principle, this means that anyone under 18 cannot legally have sex and anyone older than 18 cannot have sex with anyone younger than 18. If they do, they commit statutory rape. However, Oregon also has authorized a “Romeo and Juliet” defense to the charge of statutory rape. This provision in ORS 163.345 effectively allows sexual consent if the partners are within 3 years of age. Thus, an 18-year old can have sex with a 15-year old and in principle a 16-year old could have sex with a 13-year old provided that both partners are within 3 years of age and it is consensual. In fact, given the text of the statutes, a 14 or 15-year old could have sex with a 12-year old if it was consensual. However, for cases of sexual misconduct , the alleged victim must be at least 15 years old for defendants to claim ORS 163.345 as a defense. (Sexual misconduct is a C misdemeanor). It is a common misconception that consensual sex of two people under 18 is legal. It is not actually legal; the law providing criminal charges for Rape II and Rape III are broad and clear – it is illegal. In theory, if two teenagers within 3 years had consensual sex after prom, they could both be charged by the DA. However, this would almost certainly never happen because both teenagers could point to ORS 163.345 and that would clear them in any trial. But Romeo and Juliet notwithstanding, Oregon consent laws are among the strictest in the world. In most European countries and many US states, it is fully legal for a 16-year old to consent to sex with a partner of any age. In Oregon, only an 18-year old can consent to sex with a partner of any age.

Father's Rights and Responsibilities There is a lot of advice out there for girls who find themselves facing an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy but there is very little information out there for guys. It takes two to make a baby but all too often when the pregnancy is announced the guy gets lost in the confusion. Teen fatherhood is not something to be taken lightly and along with responsibilities to the mother and the child; you have rights that you need to know about. What are your rights as a prospective father? First and foremost you have the right to know for sure that you are the father. This is not only a right you have but it is a right that the unborn child is entitled to as well. While everyone is mixed up in the emotionally charged circumstances surrounding an unwanted pregnancy it is often overlooked or downplayed that both father and child have a right to know the truth about paternity. Understandably a pregnant girl may be upset when the subject of DNA testing comes up but it is not something you should ever feel guilty about requesting. You are not calling her sexual conduct in to question by wanting to know for sure that you are the father. You are not suggesting that she is bad or a liar. You are simply exercising your right to know for sure that you are the father and this is important because fatherhood is a lifelong commitment. If you are the father you have the right to know your child and to participate in your child’s life. You have rights of custody and access. You also have responsibilities. You have the responsibility to financially and emotionally care for your child. You have a responsibility to be present in your child’s life and ensure that your child’s needs are met. You have the responsibility to ensure that your child is safe and well cared for and is free from harm. You have the responsibility to make decisions that are in the best interest of your child. More on rights and responsibilities later, first let’s look at the most important thing every prospective father needs to know about… how to know if they are really the father. How can you know if you are the father? There are two ways to determine if you are the father, blood type matching and DNA testing. Blood type matching is the cheapest and simplest test but it does not determine paternity it only tells you if it is possible that you are the father. If the blood types don’t match up there is no possible way you are the father and no other tests are needed. If the blood types do match up it only means that you could be the father and a DNA test will be needed to know for sure. In order to match blood types you need to know the answers to three questions; what is the father’s blood type, what is the mother’s blood type and what is the baby’s blood type? A baby’s blood type is determined by the blood types of its parents and it is an exact science as to what possible blood type a baby can have based on the types of the parents. It may sound confusing but it is really very simple. The blood type of the baby is determined by a combination of its’ parents' blood types. If the baby has a blood type that could not be the result of the combined blood types of both parents then the paternity is usually called in to question (since in natural conception maternity is never at issue). So what is the difference between a positive and a negative blood type match? Rh factor aside (which determines if the blood type is positive + or negative – and is not affected by paternity) a baby will have the same blood type as either its mother or its father or it will have a combined blood type based on the types of both parents. A negative blood type matching happens if a baby does not have the father’s or mother’s blood type or if the blood type that a baby does have is not a possible combination of the father’s and the mother’s. A positive blood type matching happens when a baby has the same blood type as the mother, the same blood type as the father or a blood type that is a combination of the parent’s blood types. The following chart shows which blood types are possible based on the combined types of the parents. Determining Paternity by Blood Type Remember in cases of natural conception if the blood types do not match it is because the wrong father has been identified. If the blood types do match up the next step that should be taken is a DNA test as blood type matches only suggest the possibility, not the certainty, that the right father has been identified. DNA testing is much more complicated and expensive but in the end, it is worth the investment and many private labs have payment programs available to make access to this test easier. Don’t feel bad about wanting a DNA test, as discussed earlier both father and a child have a right to know the truth. The most accurate DNA testing is done using samples from all three parties; mother, identified father and child, but testing can be done with only samples from the identified father and child. While it is possible to test DNA before a child is born this is much more costly and can pose a risk to the unborn child. For this reason, most DNA testing is done after the child is born. Should you get married? The question of marriage under these circumstances is a very personal one but it should not be entered into lightly. The pressure to marry when an unwanted pregnancy occurs can be overwhelming but there are important legal ramifications that potential fathers must be aware of. In North America, our system of law is based on British Common Law and under this legal structure a child born in wedlock (that is to parents who are legally married at the time of birth) is automatically presumed to belong to the husband. A legal father has the same rights and responsibilities as a biological father. If you marry a girl who claims you fathered her child and later find out that you are not the father it can be difficult and costly, not to mention emotionally devastating, to have your parental rights and responsibilities changed. It may be worth your while to consult with a lawyer near where you live before marrying under these circumstances in order to fully and properly understand the law on this matter where you live. What about adoption? Can I give up my baby for adoption even if the mother does not want to? No, you can’t force the other parent to give the child up for adoption. You may be able to give up your own parental rights however, depending on the laws where you live. A lawyer in your area can better advise you on the subject of giving up parental rights and obligations and if this is something you want you must seek legal advice. OK, I’m the father and I’m going to be involved, now what? If you and the mother can agree on a custody arrangement and on child support it can be as simple as signing an agreement and filing it with the family court in your area. This may or may not require a lawyer. When there is nothing being disputed by either parent then the matter of filing is relatively simple and any associated legal fees are usually minimal. If the two of you can’t agree then you will need a lawyer. As a father you have the right to know your child and to be a participant in his or her life. You also have the responsibility to support and care for your child and if you are the non-custodial parent you have the responsibility to pay child support. As touched on earlier you have the responsibility to ensure that your child is free from harm and is well cared for. If you believe that the mother is unable to care for your child or that your child is being harmed in her care then you have a responsibility to do something about it. On the other hand, if a mother believes that you may be bad for the child or put the child in harms way then she has a responsibility to do something about it. This usually involves going to court to stop or limit access. A lawyer will be needed and depending on where you live you may be able to get legal aid or assistance. Check with your local law society, Attorney General, or other public law office. Parenthood is not an easy thing and it should never be entered into lightly. No matter what the circumstances surrounding conception when you become a parent you are a parent for the rest of your life. Fathers are no less important than mothers and their obligations to their child are no less than those of a mother. Just because biology has made it that mothers carry the child in their body this does not mean that the mother is the most important parent. Both parents have important roles to play in the life of their child. While having a child while you’re still a kid yourself is less than ideal this does not make you any less a parent. Once you know a child is yours it changes your life forever no matter how old, or young, you are.

GONORRHEA TESTIMONIALS Two-thirds of countries have reported gonorrhea cases that resist all known antibiotics. Now scientists are trying to hold the line against the disease as they look for a new way to treat it. Mark King has had the clap so many times he’s renamed it ‘the applause’. The first time King had gonorrhea, he was a teenager in the late 1970s, growing up with his five siblings in Louisiana. He had the telltale signs: burning and discomfort when he urinated and a thick discharge that left a stain in his underwear. King visited a clinic and gave a fake name and phone number. He was treated quickly with antibiotics and sent on his way. A few years later, the same symptoms reappeared. By this time, the 22-year-old was living in West Hollywood, hoping to launch his acting career. While King had come out to his parents, being gay in Louisiana was poles apart from being gay in Los Angeles. For one, homosexuality was illegal in Louisiana until 2003, whereas California had legalized it in 1976. In Los Angeles there was a thriving a gay scene where King, for the first time, could embrace his sexuality freely. He frequented bathhouses and also met men in dance clubs and along the bustling sidewalks. There was lots of sex to be had. “The fact that we weren’t a fully formed culture beyond those spaces… was what brought us together as people. Sex was the only expression we had to claim ourselves as LGBT people,” King says. When he stepped into the brick clinic just a few strides away from the heart of the city’s gay nightlife in Santa Monica, King, with his thick sandy blond hair with a tinge of red through it, looked around the room. It was filled with other gay men. “What do you do when you’re 22 and gay? You cruise other men. I remember sitting in the lobby cruising other men,” King recalls, laughing. “My Summer of Love was 1982. It was a playground. I was young and on the prowl.” Like a few years earlier, the doctor gave him a handful of antibiotics to take for a few days that would clear up the infection. It wasn’t a big deal. In fact, as King describes it, it was “simply an errand to run”. “It was the price of doing business and it wasn’t a high price at all.” But it was the calm before the storm, in more ways than one. When King picked up gonorrhea again in the 1990s, he was greatly relieved that treatment was now just one dose. Penicillin was no longer effective, but ciprofloxacin was now the recommended treatment and it required only one dose. In King’s eyes, getting gonorrhea was even less of a hassle. But this was actually a symptom of treatment regimens starting to fail. The bacteria Neisseria gonorrhoeae was on the way to developing resistance to nearly every drug ever used to treat it. 40-49 previous nEXT

Teen Testimonial The real story of one young woman's journey through high school pregnancy and beyond... I guess you could say I was popular in high school—it was fun because I fit in. I was a cheerleader and I did color guard. I was very outgoing, not shy at all. I mean, I lived in a small town in Mississippi, so there wasn't much to do other than shop at the mall, but I also went to concerts all the time. I'm a big Dirks Bentley fan and when I went to one concert with my friends I got to meet him because I was in his fan club. I ended up crying, actually, so he came up to me and hugged me because I was that weird emotional girl. I've never been the type to party, and I never drank or did drugs or any of that. I was pretty much always at school every day until about 6PM for cheer practice, and then every Saturday until noon for color guard. School was so important to me. However, I did have a boyfriend. It was the classic high school romance: I was the cheerleader, and he played football, baseball, and basketball. He was the total cool kid. In the yearbook, he won "Most Popular" and "Most Handsome." And yeah, he was handsome! He was only 5'5", but he was muscular, and worked out all the time, and had curly, strawberry-blonde hair. I remember we met at a McDonald's. He just walked right up to my car, looking all cocky, and asked right away if I wanted his number. (And I did.) We spent a lot of time together—he used to either come watch me during cheerleading or call me right after practice. I watched him, too. He was #3 in football, and that number was everywhere, even on his white pickup truck. We rode around on his motorcycle and his four-wheeler a lot, or just went to the movies. We lived in Mississippi, you know? That's the kind of stuff you do. Neither of us worked, but we had each other. We were in our senior year, and our relationship was great. One Friday night over Christmas break, he got me some chicken for dinner, and it made me throw up. I told him that I was late, so we thought we should take a test. Finally, four positive results later, I realized that I was pregnant, and I just cried. And he cried. That night, I looked him in the eyes and made him promise me that, no matter what, he'd stay with me and we'd get through it together. He was all for it. I decided to tell my mom three or four days later. I was on my way to the color guard Christmas party, and I just sent her a text that said, "I'm late." She responded, "Is there any way you could be pregnant?" And then, I said, "I don't know." Finally, she told me she wasn't going to discuss anything more via text message, but I was too scared to face her alone, so I waited for my boyfriend to meet up with me. Then, she made me take another test, cried a little, and asked to be alone. After that, though, she was so supportive, and I'm lucky for that. My dad, though, was a different story. My mom asked me not to tell him until after Christmas so I wouldn't ruin the holiday. It was just so hard. When he first found out, he was in shock. We had a lot of hard conversations and played out a lot of scenarios. He kept telling me that I was giving up my college experience, that I would have to go to community college, and I'd never finish, so I should wait to have kids later in life when I could support them. I don't know what was going on with me, but at that point, I kind of felt like I was in love and I was going to have my happy family. It was naive, obviously, and I wasn't thinking clearly about how hard it was going to be. But I couldn't bring myself to ever think about having an abortion. The thing was, I wasn't on birth control and we weren't using condoms. We actually had this crazy thought that one of us was probably infertile because I never got pregnant. We were teenagers and we didn't know any better. We lived in the Bible Belt, so sexual education was completely optional in high school, and almost nobody took it. They just thought we should know better. We didn't. Before break was over, I told my two "best friends" that I was pregnant. One of them told her boyfriend who ended up telling his sister, and just like that, it spread everywhere. When I got back to school, the teachers looked down on me. It's a small town, so when one person found out, everyone did. It was just like The Scarlet Letter. As for the rest of my friends, it was a scene from a movie: I got pregnant, and they ran away. I only had two people who stuck by me, my friends Tyler and Holly. Actually, when I really think about it, my mom became my true best friend. I guess I just wasn't as fun when I was pregnant, maybe; I couldn't keep up with them, especially with their being seniors. Eventually, they all stopped calling. It was hard, emotionally, because I had to go through all of these physical changes and doctor's appointments, and they were out having fun. I felt like an outcast, which was not me at all. I was used to being one of them. Five months in, it became clear that I wasn't just putting on weight anymore, and that I was definitely pregnant. I was so swollen. I actually had tomia, and I gained 53 pounds' worth of fluid. The worst part of it all was, the more I started to show, the more my boyfriend would pull away. I couldn't really see it at the time, but slowly he would stop calling me after practice, and he eventually stopped coming over. One day, he called me up at school and asked me to come eat lunch with him. He took me to the McDonald's where we met, because all I ate during my pregnancy was chicken nuggets. And right there over our food, he said, "I think it'd be better for both of us if we took a break from each other for a while. We might get back tomorrow, you never know, I just think we should take a break." That was three days before prom. So, I didn't have a date to my senior prom and I was five months pregnant. Luckily, Tyler rented a tudo so I wouldn't have to go by myself. Prom was miserable because my feet and face were so swollen, but I guess I'm still happy I went. I got to show everybody that I wasn't ashamed of my baby and I wasn't going to give up my life just because I was pregnant. But, God, my feet hurt so much! My heels were cute, though…I remember that much. And then I graduated, six months pregnant, but with honors! I had even taken a college course. I was embarrassed because there were so many people watching me, but I was proud of myself for making it. Then, it was summer, and I could hardly move. I tried walking, but I didn't get very far. Finally, on August 1st, I had Tavin. By that point, I was so ready to get him out of me—I basically got off the elevator at the hospital and asked for the epidural right away. My whole family and my two best friends came and they stayed with me the whole time. He was born at 7:23 that night, weighing seven pounds, eleven ounces. The first thing out of my mouth when I saw him was, "I wasn't expecting a real baby!" I don't know what I was thinking, but here was this huge, living, breathing, beautiful creature lying on me. He had these chubby cheeks, huge lips, and my nose. He was so beautiful. A lot of moms get maternity leave, but I didn't want to fall behind, so I enrolled right away in nursing school and started two weeks after I had Tavin. My mom was a teacher, but she quit her job so I wouldn't have to pay for child care. My family supported me throughout all of that, and I graduated in 2013 when Tavin was two years old. I've been a pulmonary oncology nurse at a hospital ever since. I am so glad I didn't have to do it alone, and I'm so grateful my mom taught me everything from feeding him to changing his diaper. She's been my greatest support system throughout everything. Tavin has actually taught me, too. I never knew I could love somebody the way I love him. I thought I knew what love was before, but…I can't even explain it. My whole life revolves around him. I can't plan anything without making sure I have a tee-ball game organized, or something to do for his pre-school. I think of him before myself. I work crazy shifts at my job so I can be with him, but it's all so worth it. At the same time, though, I wish I would have known how hard it would be to go to school and have a baby at home. Even more, I wish I knew how hard it'd be for Tavin not to have a dad around. My ex-boyfriend hasn't seen him in months. He came to see him on Christmas, but that was the first time in two years. Tavin calls him by his first name, not dad. But, that's the norm: Guys don't have to carry the child or give birth, so they can just walk away. Girls don't have that option. But I wanted my baby, even after he left me. And that's how I learned my own strength. I discovered how wonderful it is to be a mom. I do wish I had him later on in life, and I do feel like it's my fault that his dad isn't here. But, we're doing just fine without him, and Tavin has my dad and my brother. I think sometimes about going even further in school, because I work at a teaching hospital with residents, and it makes me think about the future. I feel now that I've had this baby and become a nurse, so I can do anything. Hopefully, I'll find a nice guy to be a dad and help raise him, because he's a handful and super outgoing. He just loves people, and he recently became obsessed with The Avengers. And, of course, he loves Dierks Bentley because I've forced him to listen.

law & consent Age of Consent And why those laws exist.... The most common rationale for consent legislation in the West today is the desire to protect children and teens—who are now understood to undergo important psychological development well after they’re biologically capable of sex—from confusing and possibly abusive relationships with more powerful adults. Of course, the line that separates child from adult has never been clear, and so fudging the divide is sometimes required to avoid absurdity. Situations where a 17-year-old boyfriend has been charged with “raping” his 15-year-old girlfriend have led many state legislatures in the U.S. to establish “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which allow for exceptions or lesser punishments in cases where the couple is close in age. Read More Oregon Law In Oregon, the age of consent for sexual activity is 18 years old. In principle, this means that anyone under 18 cannot legally have sex and anyone older than 18 cannot have sex with anyone younger than 18. If they do, they commit statutory rape. However, Oregon also has authorized a “Romeo and Juliet” defense to the charge of statutory rape. This provision in ORS 163.345 effectively allows sexual consent if the partners are within 3 years of age. Thus, an 18-year old can have sex with a 15-year old and in principle a 16-year old could have sex with a 13-year old provided that both partners are within 3 years of age and it is consensual. In fact, given the text of the statutes, a 14 or 15-year old could have sex with a 12-year old if it was consensual. However, for cases of sexual misconduct , the alleged victim must be at least 15 years old for defendants to claim ORS 163.345 as a defense. (Sexual misconduct is a C misdemeanor). It is a common misconception that consensual sex of two people under 18 is legal. It is not actually legal; the law providing criminal charges for Rape II and Rape III are broad and clear – it is illegal. In theory, if two teenagers within 3 years had consensual sex after prom, they could both be charged by the DA. However, this would almost certainly never happen because both teenagers could point to ORS 163.345 and that would clear them in any trial. But Romeo and Juliet notwithstanding, Oregon consent laws are among the strictest in the world. In most European countries and many US states, it is fully legal for a 16-year old to consent to sex with a partner of any age. In Oregon, only an 18-year old can consent to sex with a partner of any age.

Ending A Pregnancy There are two ways of ending a pregnancy: in-clinic abortion and the abortion pill. Both are safe and very common. If you’re pregnant and thinking about abortion, you may have lots of questions. We’re here to help. Is abortion the right option for me? Abortion is very common, and people have abortions for many different reasons. Only you know what’s best for you, but good information and support can really help you make the decision that is best for your own health and well-being. Why do people decide to have an abortion? If you’re thinking about having an abortion, you’re so not alone. Millions of people face unplanned pregnancies every year, and about 4 out of 10 of them decide to get an abortion. Some people with planned pregnancies also get abortions because of health or safety reasons. Overall, 1 in 4 women in the U.S. will have an abortion by the time they’re 45 years old. Sometimes, the decision is simple. Other times, it’s complicated. But either way, the decision to have an abortion is personal, and you’re the only one who can make it. Everyone has their own unique and valid reasons for having an abortion. Some of the many different reasons people decide to end a pregnancy include: They want to be the best parent possible to the kids they already have. They’re not ready to be a parent yet. It’s not a good time in their life to have a baby. They want to finish school, focus on work, or achieve other goals before having a baby. They’re not in a relationship with someone they want to have a baby with. They’re in an abusive relationship or were sexually assaulted. The pregnancy is dangerous or bad for their health. The fetus won’t survive the pregnancy or will suffer after birth. They just don’t want to be a parent. Deciding to have an abortion doesn’t mean you don’t want or love children. In fact, 6 out of 10 people who get abortions already have kids — and many of them decide to end their pregnancies so they can focus on the children they already have. And people who aren’t already parents when they get an abortion often go on to have a baby later, when they feel they are in a better position to be a good parent. The bottom line is, deciding if and when to have a baby is very personal, and only you know what’s best for you and your family. What can I think about to help me decide? Family, relationships, school, work, life goals, health, safety, and personal beliefs — people think carefully about these things before having an abortion. But you’re the only person walking in your shoes, and the only person who can decide whether to have an abortion. The decision is 100% yours. Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about an abortion: Am I ready to be a parent? Would I consider adoption? What would it mean for my future if I had a child now? What would it mean for my family if I had a child now? How would being a parent affect my career goals? Do I have strong personal or religious beliefs about abortion? Is anyone pressuring me to have or not have an abortion? Would having a baby change my life in a way I do or don’t want? Would having an abortion change my life in a way I do or don’t want? What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to get an abortion? What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to have a baby? Decisions about your pregnancy are deeply personal. You hold the power to make decisions that are best for you in order to stay on your own path to a healthy and meaningful life. There are lots of things to consider, and it’s totally normal to have many different feelings and thoughts when making this decision. That’s why it’s important to get factual, non-judgmental information about abortion. Support from family, friends, partners, and other people you trust can also be helpful. But at the end of the day, only you know what’s right for you. Who can I talk with about getting an abortion? Lots of people lean on others to help them with their decision. It’s good to choose people who you know are understanding and supportive of you. Your local health center has caring professionals that can answer any questions you may have. They'll give you expert care, accurate information about all your options, and non-judgmental support along the way — no matter what you decide about your pregnancy. Other family planning centers and private doctors may also talk with you about your decision. But be careful when looking for a reliable health center, because there are fake clinics out there that claim to offer information about pregnancy options and abortion. They’re called Crisis Pregnancy Centers, and they’re run by people who don’t believe in giving you honest facts about abortion, pregnancy, and birth control. Crisis pregnancy centers are often located very close to Planned Parenthood health centers or other real medical centers, and have similar names — they do this to confuse people and trick them into visiting them instead. No one should pressure you into making any decision about your pregnancy, no matter what. So it’s important to get the info and support you need from people who give you the real facts and won’t judge you. If you’re having a hard time finding someone in your life to talk with, check out All-Options. All-Options has a free hotline that gives you a confidential space to talk about making decisions about a pregnancy. They’ll give you judgment-free support at any point in your pregnancy experience, no matter what you decide to do or how you feel about it. When do I have to make a decision? It’s important to take the time you need to make the best decision for you. It’s also a good idea to talk to a nurse or doctor as soon as you can so you can get the best medical care possible. The staff at your local Planned Parenthood health center is always here to provide expert medical care and support, no matter what decision you make.

Safer Sex Tools

relationships LOCAL RESOURCES A partner might have specific reasons for not wanting to use condoms. Click on "Let's Talk" to get ideas about how to respond if you ever feel pressured to have sex without a condom Let’s Talk Relationships What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? LEARN MORE recognize 50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships LEARN MORE 10 SIGNS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP comfortable pace You and your partner allow the relationship to happen at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. Often times when you begin dating someone, you may feel that you’re spending all of your time with them because you want to – that is great! But be sure that nothing feels imbalanced or rushed in the relationship. In a healthy relationship, nobody pressures the other to have sex, make the relationship exclusive, move in together, meet their family and friends, get married, or have a baby. When you do choose to take these steps, you both feel happy and excited about it—no mixed feelings. trust Believing your partner won’t do anything to hurt you or ruin the relationship. Examples are when your partner is comfortable when you do things without them, has faith that you won’t cheat on them, respects your privacy online (like who you text and Snapchat), and doesn’t make you go out of your way or work hard to “earn” their trust. honesty Being truthful and open with your partner. It’s important to be able to talk together about what you both want. In a healthy relationship, you can talk to your partner without fearing how they’ll respond or if you’ll be judged. They may not like what you have to say, but a healthy partner will respond to disappointing news in a considerate way. Some examples are having good communication about what you both want and expect and never feeling like you have to hide who you talk to or hang with from your partner. independence Having space and freedom in your relationship to do you. Examples are when your partner supports you having friends and a life outside of your relationship and not needing to be attached at the hip or know every little detail about your life. respect If respect is present in your relationship, your partner will value your beliefs, opinions and who you are as a person. Examples are complimenting you, supporting your hard work and dreams, not trying to push or overstep your boundaries, and sticking up for you. equality You and your partner have the same say and put equal effort into the relationship (instead of feeling like one person has more say than the other). Examples are feeling like you are heard in your relationship or feeling comfortable speaking up, making decisions together as opposed to one person calling all the shots, and equally compromising on decisions in your relationship that make the other person feel important or respected. compassion Feeling a sense of care and concern from your partner and knowing that they will be there to support you, too. If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner will be kind to you, they will understand and be supportive of you when you’re going through tough times, and they will lend a helping hand in times of need. An important caveat is that it has to be two-sided and displayed equally. taking responsibility You and your partner are both responsible for your own actions and words. You both avoid putting blame on each other and own up to your actions when you do something wrong. Examples are when your partner genuinely apologizes for their mistakes, they avoid taking things out on you when they’re upset, and they try to make positive changes to better your relationship. loyalty When your partner is reliable and you feel confident that they have your back. Some examples are when your partner is respectful and faithful, sticks up for you, doesn’t take sides against you but helps you see the middle ground, and keeps your secrets safe. In a healthy relationship, you don’t have to test the other person’s loyalty, because you just know it’s there. Sometimes people say “we all make mistakes” and “nobody’s perfect” to make excuses for disloyalty. If you find yourself saying that more than once, it’s a red flag that the relationship may not be healthy. communication If you can talk to your partner about anything—the good and the bad—this is a sign of a healthy relationship. Examples are when you feel like your partner will listen to you when you need to talk and that they are open to discussing further and when you don’t feel judged for your words or opinions. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WHEN TO SEEK HELP when to seek help Could You Be In An Abusive Relationship? Take The Quiz To Find Out More... Abusive Relationships Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind. LEARN MORE HElp A friend If your friend or family member is undergoing the serious and painful effects of dating abuse, they may have a very different point of view than you. They may have heard the abuse was their fault and feel responsible. Even after realizing that there’s abuse, they may choose to stay in the relationship. As a friend, try to be there for them because although they may not show it, they need you more than ever. LEARN MORE If you or someone you know is in an Abusive relationship, there is help available. Get Started Here. GET HELP THE SAFE PROJECT The SAFE Project provides emergency services and advocacy to survivors of domestic and sexual violence. *24-Hour Crisis Line *Emergency Shelter *Crisis Response Team *Assistance to clients who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual assault Call NOW Age of Consent And why those laws exist.... The most common rationale for consent legislation in the West today is the desire to protect children and teens—who are now understood to undergo important psychological development well after they’re biologically capable of sex—from confusing and possibly abusive relationships with more powerful adults. Of course, the line that separates child from adult has never been clear, and so fudging the divide is sometimes required to avoid absurdity. Situations where a 17-year-old boyfriend has been charged with “raping” his 15-year-old girlfriend have led many state legislatures in the U.S. to establish “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which allow for exceptions or lesser punishments in cases where the couple is close in age. Read More AGE OF CONSENT

Sex and COVID With mandatory mask wearing and physical distancing of at least six feet becoming the norm around the nation, the question remains—is sex safe? In short—it can be, but experts say any type of in-person sexual activity does carry some risk. But there are ways to have intimate contact and remain connected.

Cost Of Raising a Kid For a middle-income family to raise a child born in 2015 through the age of 17, the cost of rearing a child has hit $233,610, according to the report. The price jump is a 3% increase from the previous year, according to the report, with housing taking up a bulk of the expense at 29% of the cost. Food took the second biggest expense at 18%, according to the report. The report, which tracks seven categories of family spending, including housing, transportation and clothing, helps court systems and government agencies determine the costs of child-support. The report does not track payments for college or financial contributions from non-parental sources, including government aid, Bloomberg reported. The increase this year falls below the historic average annual increase of 4.3%, according to Bloomberg. Transportation expenses, driving in particular, have fallen due to lower projected energy costs. Among upper-income families, costs for childcare and education have increased. The report classifies middle-class families as having a before-tax income of $59,200 to $107,000. Families with lower incomes are expected to spend $174,690, while families with higher incomes will likely spend $372,210.

Hepatitis A Hepatitis A is a contagious liver infection caused by the hepatitis A virus. Hepatitis A can be prevented with a vaccine. People who get hepatitis A may feel sick for a few weeks to several months but usually recover completely and do not have lasting liver damage. In rare cases, hepatitis A can cause liver failure and even death; this is more common in older people and in people with other serious health issues, such as chronic liver disease. How common is hepatitis A? Since the hepatitis A vaccine was first recommended in 1996, cases of hepatitis A in the United States have declined dramatically. Unfortunately, in recent years the number of people infected has been increasing because there have been multiple outbreaks of hepatitis A in the United States. These outbreaks have primarily been from person-to-person contact, especially among people who use drugs, people experiencing homelessness, and men who have sex with men. How is hepatitis A spread? The hepatitis A virus is found in the stool and blood of people who are infected. The hepatitis A virus is spread when someone ingests the virus, usually through: personal contact with an infected person, such as through having sex, caring for someone who is ill, using drugs with others, or through food. Contamination of food with the hepatitis A virus can happen at any point: growing, harvesting, processing, handling, and even after cooking. Contamination of food and water happens more often in countries where hepatitis A is common. Although uncommon, forborne outbreaks have occurred in the United States from people eating contaminated fresh and frozen imported food products. Hepatitis A is very contagious, and people can even spread the virus before they feel sick. Vaccination is the best way to prevent hepatitis A. The hepatitis A vaccine is safe and effective. The vaccine series usually consists of 2 shots, given 6 months apart. Getting both shots provides the best protection against hepatitis A. Hepatitis A vaccination is recommended for: • All children at age 1 year • Travelers to countries where hepatitis A is common • Family and caregivers of adoptees from countries where hepatitis A is common • Men who have sexual encounters with other men • People who use or inject drugs • People with chronic or long-term liver disease, including hepatitis B or hepatitis C • People with clotting factor disorders • People with direct contact with others who have hepatitis A • People experiencing homelessness You can prevent infection even after you have been exposed. If you have been exposed to the hepatitis A virus in the last 2 weeks, talk to your doctor about getting vaccinated. A single shot of the hepatitis A vaccine can help prevent hepatitis A if given within 2 weeks of exposure. Depending upon your age and health, your doctor may recommend immune globulin in addition to the hepatitis A vaccine. Hand washing plays an important role in prevention. Practicing good hand hygiene—including thoroughly washing hands with soap and warm water after using the bathroom, changing diapers, and before preparing or eating food—plays an important role in preventing the spread of many illnesses, including hepatitis A. Symptoms Not everyone with hepatitis A has symptoms. Adults are more likely to have symptoms than children. If symptoms develop, they usually appear 2 to 7 weeks after infection and can include: Yellow skin or eyes Not wanting to eat Upset stomach Stomach pain Throwing up Fever Dark urine or light colored stools Joint pain Diarrhea Feeling tired Symptoms usually last less than 2 months, although some people can be ill for as long as 6 months. Diagnosis and treatment A doctor can determine if you have hepatitis A by discussing your symptoms and taking a blood sample. To treat the symptoms of hepatitis A, doctors usually recommend rest, adequate nutrition, and fluids. Some people will need medical care in a hospital. International travel and hepatitis A If you are planning to travel to countries where hepatitis A is common, talk to your doctor about getting vaccinated before you travel. Travelers to urban areas, resorts, and luxury hotels in countries where hepatitis A is common are still at risk. International travelers have been infected, even though they regularly washed their hands and were careful about what they drank and ate. < Previous Next >