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STI Screening If you are sexually active, getting tested for STIs is one of the most important things you can do to protect your health. Make sure you have an open and honest conversation about your sexual history and STI testing with your doctor and ask whether you should be tested for STIs. If you are not comfortable talking with your regular health care provider about STIs, there are many clinics that provide confidential and free or low-cost testing. Which STI Tests Should I Get? If you are sexually active, getting tested for STIs is one of the most important things you can do to protect your health. Make sure you have an open and honest conversation about your sexual history and STI testing with your doctor and ask whether you should be tested for STIs. If you are not comfortable talking with your regular health care provider about STIs, there are many clinics that provide confidential and free or low-cost testing. Below is a brief overview of STI testing recommendations. STI screening information for healthcare providers can be found here. All adults and adolescents from ages 13 to 64 should be tested at least once for HIV. All sexually active women younger than 25 years should be tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia every year. Women 25 years and older with risk factors such as new or multiple sex partners or a sex partner who has an STI should also be tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia every year. All pregnant women should be tested for syphilis, HIV, and hepatitis B starting early in pregnancy. At-risk pregnant women should also be tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea starting early in pregnancy. Testing should be repeated as needed to protect the health of mothers and their infants. All sexually active gay and bisexual men should be tested at least once a year for syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. Those who have multiple or anonymous partners should be tested more frequently for STIs (i.e., at 3- to 6-month intervals). Sexually active gay and bisexual men may benefit from more frequent HIV testing (e.g., every 3 to 6 months). Anyone who has unsafe sex or shares injection drug equipment should get tested for HIV at least once a year. Local Clinics

5109ae29-5205-4b65-9952-9ea94f23af6b < Back Adoption Is adoption right for me? Some people choose adoption when faced with a pregnancy. Information and support is important, but the decision is personal and only you know what’s best for you. Why do people decide to place their babies for adoption? If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, you’re not alone. About half of all women in the U.S. have an unplanned pregnancy at some point in their lives, and some decide to give birth and place their baby for adoption. The process of adoption is when you give birth and then choose someone else to parent your child. It’s a permanent, legal agreement where you agree to place your child in the care of another person or family permanently. You are in charge of your choice. There are many families throughout the country that are hoping to build their families through adoption. There are laws in every state guiding adoptive families and protecting you, so it’s important that you speak with an adoption agency or attorney. The decision to place a child for adoption is personal, and you’re the only one who can make it. Everyone has their own unique and valid reasons for choosing adoption. Some of the many different reasons people decide to place a child for adoption include: They’re not ready to be a parent. They can’t afford to raise a child. They don’t want to be a single parent. They want to be the best parent possible to the kids they already have. It’s not a good time in their life to raise a child. They want to finish school, focus on work, or achieve other goals before parenting a child. They’re not in a relationship with someone they want to parent a child with. They believe adoption is the best chance for their child to be well-cared for. They’re in an abusive relationship or were sexually assaulted. They just don’t want to be a parent right now. What can I think about to help me decide? Family, relationships, money, school, work, life goals, personal beliefs, and the well-being of your future child — most people think carefully about all of these things before choosing adoption. But every person’s situation is different, and only you can decide what’s best in your case. Here are some things to ask yourself: Do I feel comfortable letting someone else parent my child? Do I believe my child will be treated well by the adoptive parent(s)? Do I feel I can’t care for a child now? Would I consider abortion or parenting? Is someone pressuring me to choose adoption? Am I ready to go through pregnancy and childbirth? Am I prepared to cope with the feelings of loss I may have? Will I feel okay if I visit my child and their family 2 or 3 times a year, or possibly never see them again? Do I have people in my life who will support me through my pregnancy, birth, and adoption process? There can be lots of stuff to consider, and it’s totally normal to have many different feelings and thoughts when making your decision. That’s why it’s important to get factual, non-judgmental information about your pregnancy options. Support from other people you trust can also help you figure out if adoption is right for you. Who can I talk to about adoption? Talking with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a religious advisor, or a counselor can be helpful when you’re making a choice about an unplanned pregnancy. Lots of people lean on others to help them with their decision. It’s good to choose people who you know are supportive of you and won’t be judgmental. An adoption agency can give you information and help you think through your decision. Many family planning clinics have specially trained staff that can give you accurate information about all your options and other resources. The staff at your local health clinic listed on Clinics and Providers can also refer you to adoption agencies or other resources in your area. No one should pressure you into making any decision about your pregnancy, no matter what. At the end of the day, only you know what’s right for you. You might be wondering how to start the adoption process. Here are some things to look for when you check out adoption agencies: They have an authentic, transparent, unbiased website. They listen to you. You’re treated with dignity and respect. They don’t judge you. They have fact-based answers to your questions and support you no matter what you choose to do. When you make your choice — no matter what it is — they’ll help connect you with the resources you need. If you’re having a hard time finding someone in your life to talk with, check out All-Options 1-888-493-0092 or The National Pro-Choice Adoption Collaborative. Both offer free hotlines that give you a confidential space to talk about your feelings about your pregnancy. They’ll give you judgement-free support no matter what you decide to do. How does it feel to place a baby for adoption? It’s really normal to have a lot of different feelings after placing your child for adoption. Lots of people who choose adoption are happy knowing that their child is living with a family who loves and cares for them. They may feel empowered as birth parents, because the decision they made helped give their child a good life. Some people find that the sense of loss is deeper than they expected. It’s totally normal to feel grief after the adoption is complete. You might also feel reassured and relieved. Having many different feelings is very common, and your feelings might be complicated for a while. Talking with a counselor who’s experienced with adoption and talking with other people who’ve been through adoption can give you support and help you work through your emotions, both during and after the adoption process. If you work with an adoption agency, they may provide counseling. If you have an independent adoption, you can request counseling through a local adoption agency. No matter which type of adoption you decide on, it’s important to find people who will support you during and after your pregnancy and the adoption. You can also call All-Options and The National Pro-Choice Adoption Collaborative for judgement-free support anytime. When do I have to decide about adoption? It’s important to take the time you need to make the best decision for you. Some people start planning their child’s adoption early in their pregnancy, and others begin later in pregnancy. A few even start the adoption process at the hospital after the baby is born. Your timeline for making an adoption plan depends on you and your needs and situation. It’s a good idea to talk to a nurse or doctor as soon as you can so you can get the best medical care possible. The staff at your local health center are always here to provide expert medical care and support, no matter what decision you make. Previous Next

Frottage Can you get an STI dry humping? Frottage is the technical name for what two people are doing when they rub their bodies against each other for sexual pleasure. It's also known by such colorful terms as "pants burning" and "dry humping." When you engage in frottage while wearing clothing, it is very safe sex. The only significant risk is falling off the bed. If you take off your clothing, dry humping is still relatively safe, but it is possible to pass on certain diseases that are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact. Although frottage is a relatively safe form of sex, it is possible to get an STI when you are dry humping someone if their infected skin rubs against yours. The Risks To understand the risks of dry humping, it helps to know that STIs can be broken down into two groups: Diseases that are spread by bodily fluids, such as blood, vaginal secretions, and semen. Diseases that are spread by skin-to-skin contact HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea can only be spread by infected bodily fluids, and so there is basically no risk of getting any of them when you're dry humping someone — bodily fluids are not involved. However, there are many other diseases that can be spread by infected skin rubbing on uninfected skin. These diseases include: Herpes HPV Molluscum Contagiosum Syphilis These types of diseases can be transmitted with various levels of ease during frottage where someone's infected skin is rubbing on yours. However, such diseases require skin-to-skin contact for transmission. That is why frottage while wearing clothing is generally considered to be safe. Theoretically, it is possible for an open sore to seep through fabric and transmit diseases. It's not likely, but it's still a good idea to avoid aggressive contact with sores. Even if the infected person doesn't transmit the disease to their partner, they might make their own situation worse. Clothing rubbing on a lesion can irritate it, risking either a secondary infection or the disease spreading through self-inoculation. Note: Frottage refers to the act of sexual rubbing, and there's nothing unusual or unhealthy about it as a sexual activity. Many couples engage in it on a regular basis. In contrast, frotteurism refers to either having unhealthy fantasies about dry humping and similar activities or engaging in nonconsensual frottage.

Birth rates In coos county Young Moms in the Coos Age Newborns Per 1000 Women in 2010-2012 Newborns Per 1000 Women in 2013-2015 Newborns Per 1000 Women in 2016-2018 10 to 14 0.206 0.206 0.199 15 to 17 10.79 7.721 7.596 18 to 19 75.635 62.649 52.855 20 to 24 125.328 103.319 102.913 25 to 29 111.134 123.766 111.994 YOung mom's In the Coos same info in a chart LEARN MORE teen parenting The real story of one young woman's journey through high school pregnancy and beyond... Testimonial

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c110a98b-de26-45af-90bd-c36d34b15261 < Back Parenting Is parenting the right option for me? Deciding whether to raise a child is a very important and very personal choice. Everyone’s situation is different, and only you know what’s best for you and your family. Why do people decide to become parents? If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, you’re not alone — about half of all women in the U.S. have an unplanned pregnancy at some point in their lives. People who are pregnant have three options: parenting, having an abortion, or placing their baby for adoption. Many decide to continue the pregnancy and parent the child. Everyone has their own unique and valid reasons for choosing to have and raise a child. Parenting can be joyful, rewarding, and life-changing — many parents say it’s the best decision they ever made. But having a baby is also a lifelong commitment that takes lots of love, energy, and patience. It’s normal to have lots of different feelings about whether you’re ready to take on the challenge of parenting. Sometimes, deciding what to do about an unplanned pregnancy is really simple and easy. Other times, it’s very difficult or complicated. But either way, the choice to become a parent is personal, and you’re the only one who can make it. Am I ready for a baby? Family, relationships, money, school, work, life goals, personal beliefs, and the well-being of your future child — most people think carefully about all of these things before choosing to parent. But every person’s situation is different, and only you can decide what’s best in your case. Here are some things to ask yourself if you’re thinking about becoming a parent: Do I want to start a family now? Am I ready to be totally responsible for all of my child’s needs? Will I be able to raise my child in a loving and healthy home? Can I afford to raise a child right now? What kind of support will I have from my family, my friends, and my partner/the father? What would having a baby right now mean for my future? How would having a baby right now affect my family or other children? Would I consider adoption or abortion? Is someone pressuring me to become a parent? Am I ready to go through pregnancy and childbirth? Do my partner and I both feel good about staying together and parenting together? How do I feel about co-parenting if we break up, or parenting alone? Though parenting is hard work, it can also be fun, exciting, and super rewarding. The love parents share with their kids can be really fulfilling. But parents have to give up a lot for their children. Meeting your child's needs can be very challenging. People who are raising kids usually get less sleep and don’t have as much time to do things they need and want to do. Having a baby is expensive, and many people find it hard to financially support their children. Having children can also mess with your school or career plans and goals. Parenting with a partner can bring you closer together, and creating a family with someone often feels really gratifying. But many people find that having a child tests even the strongest relationship in ways they don’t expect. Raising a child on your own can be especially challenging, but everyone’s situation is different, and there’s no way to know for sure how having a baby will affect your life and relationships. There’s lots of stuff to consider, and it’s totally normal to have many different feelings and thoughts when making your decision. That’s why it’s important to get honest, supportive information about all of your pregnancy options. Support from other people you trust can also help you figure out if parenting is right for you. Who can I talk to about having a baby? Talking with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a religious advisor, or a counselor can be helpful when you’re making a choice about an unplanned pregnancy. Asking other parents about the joys and struggles of parenting can also help you figure out if you’re ready to raise a child. But it’s good to choose people who you know are supportive of you and won’t be judgmental. Many family planning clinics have specially trained staff that can give you accurate information about all of your options and other resources if you need more help. At a clinic listed on the Clinics and Providers page, you can get information about all of your options, answers to your questions, and support no matter what you decide to do. But be careful when looking for a reliable health center. There are fake clinics that say they have pregnancy services. These are called Crisis Pregnancy Centers, and they’re run by people who are anti-abortion and don’t believe in giving you truthful facts about all of your pregnancy options. No one should pressure you into making any decision about your pregnancy, no matter what. So it’s important to get the info and support you need from people who give you the real facts and won’t judge you. At the end of the day, only you know what’s right for you. If you’re having a hard time finding someone in your life to talk with, check out All-Options. All-Options has a free hotline 1-888-493-0092 that gives you a confidential space to talk through your pregnancy experience. They’ll give you judgment-free support, no matter what choice you make or how you feel about it. When do I have to make a decision about my pregnancy? It’s important to take the time you need to make the best decision for you. If there’s a chance you’ll continue your pregnancy — whether or not you choose to parent the child — start getting prenatal care as soon as you can. And visit your doctor regularly throughout your pregnancy to make sure you and your pregnancy are healthy. No matter what decision you make, it’s a good idea to talk to a nurse or doctor as soon as you can so you can get the best medical care possible. The staff at your local health center are always here to provide expert medical care and support, no matter what decision you make. Previous Next

Love Is Love What causes sexual orientation? It’s not completely known why someone might be lesbian, gay, straight, or bisexual. But research shows that sexual orientation is likely caused partly by biological factors that start before birth. People don’t decide who they’re attracted to, and therapy, treatment, or persuasion won’t change a person’s sexual orientation. You also can’t “turn” a person gay. For example, exposing a boy to toys traditionally made for girls, such as dolls, won’t cause him to be gay. You probably started to become aware of who you’re attracted to at a very young age. This doesn’t mean that you had sexual feelings, just that you could identify people you found attractive or liked. Many people say that they knew they were lesbian, gay, or bisexual even before puberty. Although sexual orientation is usually set early in life, it isn’t at all uncommon for your desires and attractions to shift throughout your life. This is called “fluidity.” Many people, including sex researchers and scientists, believe that sexual orientation is like a scale with entirely gay on one end and entirely straight on the other. Lots of people would be not on the far ends, but somewhere in the middle. How many people are LGBTQ? LGBTQ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer/Questioning. Although researchers try to study how many people are LGBTQ, it’s very difficult to get an accurate number. This is because gender identity, sexual orientation, sexual identity, and sexual behavior are complicated for people. Let’s break it down: Gender identity is who you feel you are inside and how you express those feelings through how you act, talk, dress, etc. Sexual attraction is the romantic or sexual feelings you have toward others. Sexual identity is how you label yourself (for example, using labels such as queer, gay, lesbian, straight, or bisexual). Sexual behavior is who you have sex with and what kinds of sex you like to have. Sometimes all of these things are in line for a person. For example, a woman may feel attracted only to women, identify as a lesbian, and have sexual relationships with only women. But these things don’t always line up. Not everyone who has sexual feelings or attractions to the same gender will act on them. Some people may engage in same gender sexual behavior but not identify themselves as bisexual, lesbian, or gay. In some situations, coming out as LGBTQ can provoke fear and discrimination, and not everyone is comfortable coming out. For some people, sexual orientation can shift at different periods in their lives and the labels they use for themselves may shift, too. So it’s difficult to measure how many people are LGBTQ when sexual orientation and gender are so complex for so many people. And not everyone feels safe or comfortable telling someone else that they’re LGBTQ. Recent research suggests that 11% of American adults acknowledge at least some same-sex attraction, 8.2% report that they’ve engaged in same-sex behavior, but only 3.5% identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. This shows that what people feel or do is not always the same as how they identify themselves.

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STI Risk And Oral Sex Many sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) can be spread through oral sex. Using a condom, dental dam or other barrier method each and every time you have oral sex can reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI. Fast Facts Many sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) can be spread through oral sex. Using a condom, dental dam or other barrier method each and every time you have oral sex can reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI. Although oral sex may carry a lower risk for spreading HIV than other forms of sex, repeated unprotected exposures may increase risk of transmission. What is Oral Sex? Oral sex involves using the mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate the penis (fellatio), vagina (cunnilingus), or anus (anilingus) of a sex partner. The penis and testicles and the vagina and area around the vagina are also called the genitals or genital area. How Common is Oral Sex? See "How common is oral sex?" for statistics in this image. Oral sex is commonly practiced by sexually active adults. Oral sex can happen between heterosexual (straight) and same-sex (gay or lesbian) couples. More than 85% of sexually active adults aged 18-44 years reported having had oral sex at least once with a partner of the opposite sex. A separate survey conducted during 2007-2010 found that 33% of teenage girls and boys aged 15-17 years reported having had oral sex with a partner of the opposite sex. Can STIs Be Spread During Oral Sex? Many STIs, as well as other infections, can be spread through oral sex. Anyone exposed to an infected partner can get an STI in the mouth, throat, genitals, or rectum. The risk of getting an STI from oral sex, or spreading an STI to others through oral sex, depends on a number of things, including The particular STI. The sex acts practiced. How common the STI is in the population to which the sex partners belong. The number of specific sex acts performed. In general: It may be possible to get some STIs in the mouth or throat from giving oral sex to a partner with a genital or anal/rectal infection, particularly from giving oral sex to a partner with an infected penis. It also may be possible to get certain STIs on the penis (and possibly the vagina, anus or rectum) from getting oral sex from a partner with a mouth or throat infection. It’s possible to have an STI in more than one area at the same time, for example in the throat and the genitals. Several STIs that may be transmitted by oral sex can then spread throughout the body of an infected person. STIs can be spread to a sex partner even when the infected partner has no signs or symptoms. If you are infected with an STI, you might not know it because many STIs may have no symptoms. Which STIs Can Be Passed On from Oral Sex? Chlamydia Gonorrhea Syphilis Herpes HPV (human papillomavirus) HIV Trichomoniasis Chlamydia Risk of infection from oral sex: Giving oral sex to a man with an infected penis can result in getting chlamydia in the throat. Giving oral sex to a woman with an infected vagina or urinary tract may result in getting chlamydia in the throat.* Giving oral sex to a man or woman with an infected rectum might result in getting chlamydia in the throat.* Getting oral sex on the penis from a partner with chlamydia in the throat can result in getting chlamydia of the penis. Getting oral sex on the vagina from a partner with chlamydia in the throat might result in getting chlamydia of the vagina or urinary tract.* Getting oral sex on the anus from a partner with chlamydia in the throat might result in getting chlamydia in the rectum.* * Statements followed by an asterisk (*) have not been well studied. Areas of initial infection: Throat Genitals Urinary tract Rectum Initial signs and symptoms of infection: Most chlamydia infections in the throat have no symptoms. When symptoms are present, they can include a sore throat. Many genital, urinary tract, or rectal chlamydia infections have no symptoms. When symptoms are present, they can include: Discharge from vagina or penis (discharge from the vagina may be bloody). Burning feeling when urinating. Painful or swollen testicles. Rectal pain or discharge Treatment: Chlamydia can be cured with the right medicine. The sex partners of a person with chlamydia should also be tested for infection. Those who are diagnosed with chlamydia should not have sex until they and their sex partners have completed treatment. If left untreated, throat infections: Can be spread to uninfected sex partners, particularly by performing oral sex on a male partner’s penis. If left untreated, genital, urinary and/or rectal infections: Can be spread to uninfected sex partners. In women: Can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which can lead to chronic pelvic pain, infertility, and ectopic pregnancy (a pregnancy in the fallopian tube or elsewhere outside of the womb). In pregnant women: Might result in premature birth or low birth weight in babies. Can be spread to the baby during delivery, and can cause chlamydia infection in the eyes or infection of the respiratory tract that can develop into pneumonia. In men: Can cause epididymitis, a painful condition of the ducts attached to the testicles that may lead to ductal scarring. In both men and women: May increase risk of getting HIV infection. Might increase risk of spreading HIV to sex partners. May cause a reaction (reactive arthritis) throughout the body that can lead to arthritis (joint pain), conjunctivitis (pink eye), and/or a rash on the soles of the feet or elsewhere. In addition to the STIs above, other infections such as hepatitis A virus, Shigella and intestinal parasites (amebiasis) can be spread through giving oral sex on the anus. Is Oral Sex Safer than Vaginal or Anal Sex? Many STIs can be spread through oral sex. However, it is difficult to compare the exact risks of getting specific STIs from specific types of sexual activity. This is partly because most people who have oral sex also have vaginal or anal sex. Also, few studies have looked at the risks of getting STIs other than HIV from giving oral sex on the vagina or anus, compared to giving oral sex on the penis. Studies have shown that the risk of getting HIV from having oral sex with an infected partner (either giving or getting oral sex) is much lower than the risk of getting HIV from anal or vaginal sex with an infected partner. This may not be true for other STIs – in one study of gay men with syphilis, 1 out of 5 reported having only oral sex. Getting HIV from oral sex may be less likely than vaginal or anal sex, but it still carries risk. If you are having oral sex you should still protect yourself. Repeated unprotected oral sex exposure to HIV may represent a considerable risk for spread of HIV, as well as other STIs for which the risk of spread through oral sex has not been as well studied. It is possible that getting certain STIs, such as chlamydia or gonorrhea, in the throat may not pose as great a threat to an infected person’s health as getting an STI in the genital area or rectum. Having these infections in the throat might increase the risk of getting HIV. Having gonorrhea in the throat also may lead to spread of the disease throughout the body. In addition: Having infections of chlamydia and gonorrhea in the throat may make it easier to spread these infections to others through oral sex. This is especially important for gonorrhea, since throat infections are harder to treat than urinary, genital or rectal infections. Infections from certain STIs, such as syphilis and HIV, spread throughout the body. Therefore, infections that are acquired in the throat may lead to the same health problems as infections acquired in the genitals or rectum. Mouth and throat infections by certain types of HPV may develop into oral or neck cancer. What May Increase the Chances of Giving or Getting an STI through Oral Sex? It is possible that certain factors may increase a person’s chances of getting HIV or other STIs during oral sex if exposed to an infected partner, such as: Having poor oral health which can include tooth decay, gum disease or bleeding gums, and oral cancer. Having sores in the mouth or on the genitals. Being exposed to the “pre-cum” or “cum” (also known as pre-ejaculate or ejaculate) of an infected partner. However, no scientific studies have been done to show whether or not these factors actually do increase the risk of getting HIV or STIs from oral sex. What Can You Do to Prevent STI Transmission During Oral Sex? You can lower your chances of giving or getting STIs during oral sex by using a condom, dental dam or other barrier method each and every time you have oral sex. For oral sex on the penis: Cover the penis with a non-lubricated latex condom. Use plastic (polyurethane) condoms if you or your partner is allergic to latex. For oral sex on the vagina or anus: Use a dental dam. Cut open a condom to make a square, and put it between the mouth and the partner’s vagina or anus. The only way to avoid STIs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. If you are sexually active, you can do the following things to lower your chances of getting an STI: Being in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who is not infected with an STI (e.g., a partner who has been tested and has negative STI test results). Using latex condoms the right way every time you have sex. It’s important to remember that many infected individuals may be unaware of their infection because STIs often have no symptoms and are unrecognized. If you are sexually active, you should get tested regularly for STIs and HIV and talk to your partner(s) about STIs. If you think you might have an STI, stop having sex and visit your doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing in your area. External It is important that you talk openly with your health care provider about any activities that might put you at risk for an STI, including oral sex. Local Clinics

relationships Relationships What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? LEARN MORE recognize 50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships LEARN MORE 10 SIGNS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP comfortable pace You and your partner allow the relationship to happen at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. Often times when you begin dating someone, you may feel that you’re spending all of your time with them because you want to – that is great! But be sure that nothing feels imbalanced or rushed in the relationship. In a healthy relationship, nobody pressures the other to have sex, make the relationship exclusive, move in together, meet their family and friends, get married, or have a baby. When you do choose to take these steps, you both feel happy and excited about it—no mixed feelings. trust Believing your partner won’t do anything to hurt you or ruin the relationship. Examples are when your partner is comfortable when you do things without them, has faith that you won’t cheat on them, respects your privacy online (like who you text and Snapchat), and doesn’t make you go out of your way or work hard to “earn” their trust. honesty Being truthful and open with your partner. It’s important to be able to talk together about what you both want. In a healthy relationship, you can talk to your partner without fearing how they’ll respond or if you’ll be judged. They may not like what you have to say, but a healthy partner will respond to disappointing news in a considerate way. Some examples are having good communication about what you both want and expect and never feeling like you have to hide who you talk to or hang with from your partner. equality You and your partner have the same say and put equal effort into the relationship (instead of feeling like one person has more say than the other). Examples are feeling like you are heard in your relationship or feeling comfortable speaking up, making decisions together as opposed to one person calling all the shots, and equally compromising on decisions in your relationship that make the other person feel important or respected. compassion Feeling a sense of care and concern from your partner and knowing that they will be there to support you, too. If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner will be kind to you, they will understand and be supportive of you when you’re going through tough times, and they will lend a helping hand in times of need. An important caveat is that it has to be two-sided and displayed equally. taking responsibility You and your partner are both responsible for your own actions and words. You both avoid putting blame on each other and own up to your actions when you do something wrong. Examples are when your partner genuinely apologizes for their mistakes, they avoid taking things out on you when they’re upset, and they try to make positive changes to better your relationship. independence Having space and freedom in your relationship to do you. Examples are when your partner supports you having friends and a life outside of your relationship and not needing to be attached at the hip or know every little detail about your life. respect If respect is present in your relationship, your partner will value your beliefs, opinions and who you are as a person. Examples are complimenting you, supporting your hard work and dreams, not trying to push or overstep your boundaries, and sticking up for you. loyalty When your partner is reliable and you feel confident that they have your back. Some examples are when your partner is respectful and faithful, sticks up for you, doesn’t take sides against you but helps you see the middle ground, and keeps your secrets safe. In a healthy relationship, you don’t have to test the other person’s loyalty, because you just know it’s there. Sometimes people say “we all make mistakes” and “nobody’s perfect” to make excuses for disloyalty. If you find yourself saying that more than once, it’s a red flag that the relationship may not be healthy. communication If you can talk to your partner about anything—the good and the bad—this is a sign of a healthy relationship. Examples are when you feel like your partner will listen to you when you need to talk and that they are open to discussing further and when you don’t feel judged for your words or opinions. when to seek help Could You Be In An Abusive Relationship? Take The Quiz To Find Out More... Abusive Relationships Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind. LEARN MORE HElp A friend If your friend or family member is undergoing the serious and painful effects of dating abuse, they may have a very different point of view than you. They may have heard the abuse was their fault and feel responsible. Even after realizing that there’s abuse, they may choose to stay in the relationship. As a friend, try to be there for them because although they may not show it, they need you more than ever. LEARN MORE If you or someone you know is in an Abusive relationship, there is help available. Get Started Here. 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2d351569-96a5-4da2-a11f-498cbe873800 < Back Lilith Clinic When no one else would, or could, give women choice, we did. And now, more than 40 years later, we continue to help women – and men – make the best possible choices for their futures. Previous Next

GONORRHEA TESTIMONIALS Condoms do a good job of helping to prevent gonorrhea transmission. But they’re not 100%, and that’s because of how gonorrhea is spread. A gonorrhea infection is caused by the bacteria N. gonorrhoeae, which can infect the mucous surfaces of the urethra (in the penis), rectum (butt), cervix (connection between the vagina and uterus), and throat. Gonorrhea is spread by coming into contact with an infected body part. That means you can transmit gonorrhea even if there’s no semen or blood exchanged during sex. If you have gonorrhea in your penis and you touch your penis and then finger your partner’s butt, you can give your partner gonorrhea in in their butt, for instance. I’ve seen people who say, “I’m a top! How did I get gonorrhea in my butt?” Maybe their partner put their fingers in their butt, or they shared a sex toy. You can get a rectal gonorrhea infection even if you don’t bottom. The infection can even spread from your penis to your butt because they are so close to each other. You can get or give gonorrhea through mutual masturbation. There are a lot of ways it can spread. 30-39 previous nEXT